Life Means Suffering

When I was in college I took a Religions of the World class at ASU and I loved it.  

One of the religions we studied was Buddhism.  Truly a fascinating religion.

My mind, at that time, was extremely naive and I didn't even begin to comprehend much of what was discussed. (I'm not saying I'm not still naive, but much less so. :)

One part of Buddhism is The Four Noble Truths:

1. Life Means Suffering
2. The Origin of Suffering is Attachment
3. The Cessation of Suffering is Attainable
4. The Path to the Cessation of Suffering

A good portion of my life I have spent trying to prevent any suffering from happening.  FYI, this is not possible.

I was certain if I was careful enough I could prevent any and all tragedy.  Ask the right questions.  Keep my kids out of certain situations.  Be aware of what was going on around me.  I was sure I could stay on top of it all and I worked really hard to try.

I clung to certain feelings or situations and I became a slave to them.  I spent my time and energy trying to protect them because I was afraid that at any moment they could be taken from me.

You can't enjoy life at all when you are doing that.

And even with all that work somehow bad things in life still happened....and I was miserable.

I also thought I could pretend away real problems with pretend happiness.  Just put on a smile, don't think about it and it will go away.  

I couldn't have been more wrong.

When I finally accepted that bad things can and will happen it freed me from the task of trying to prevent it. 

But it also meant I had to deal with the emotion of hard things, disappointments and tragedy.

That's been the hardest thing for me....allowing that emotion to have its place and not just plaster a smile over the top of it and say "It's okay," because sometimes it's not okay.

And the fascinating thing about admitting at times that it's not okay is the one thing that has made me realize....

It is okay.