Life Means Suffering

When I was in college I took a Religions of the World class at ASU and I loved it.  

One of the religions we studied was Buddhism.  Truly a fascinating religion.

My mind, at that time, was extremely naive and I didn't even begin to comprehend much of what was discussed. (I'm not saying I'm not still naive, but much less so. :)

One part of Buddhism is The Four Noble Truths:

1. Life Means Suffering
2. The Origin of Suffering is Attachment
3. The Cessation of Suffering is Attainable
4. The Path to the Cessation of Suffering

A good portion of my life I have spent trying to prevent any suffering from happening.  FYI, this is not possible.

I was certain if I was careful enough I could prevent any and all tragedy.  Ask the right questions.  Keep my kids out of certain situations.  Be aware of what was going on around me.  I was sure I could stay on top of it all and I worked really hard to try.

I clung to certain feelings or situations and I became a slave to them.  I spent my time and energy trying to protect them because I was afraid that at any moment they could be taken from me.

You can't enjoy life at all when you are doing that.

And even with all that work somehow bad things in life still happened....and I was miserable.

I also thought I could pretend away real problems with pretend happiness.  Just put on a smile, don't think about it and it will go away.  

I couldn't have been more wrong.

When I finally accepted that bad things can and will happen it freed me from the task of trying to prevent it. 

But it also meant I had to deal with the emotion of hard things, disappointments and tragedy.

That's been the hardest thing for me....allowing that emotion to have its place and not just plaster a smile over the top of it and say "It's okay," because sometimes it's not okay.

And the fascinating thing about admitting at times that it's not okay is the one thing that has made me realize....

It is okay.

You Tell Me

Have you ever had somebody rub the same spot on your arm or leg or back over and over again?

Is it annoying or just fine?

Shane may or may not do this to me at times and it may or may not drive me crazy. :)

Okay, it drives me insane.

He thinks I'm weird that it drives me crazy.

I assured him that any sane person would hate it.

Oh, oops.  He told me I couldn't sway the vote by the way I wrote this, so I'm trying to make this very diplomatic.  

He consented that of course an extended amount of time would bug most people, but shorter amounts of time like 30 seconds or a minute should be fine.

So please drop your vote over there on the right so we can know who's the crazy. (it's him. oh, what? sorry.)

p.s. Have someone rub your arm in the same spot for 30 seconds straight before you vote. It's longer than you think.

My Own Little Smurf

In Buffalo Morgan came upstairs one morning wearing nothing but a blue wig. 

Classic.

(grandma diapered her before taking pictures).

Family

Want to see 3 of the reasons I got married the first time around?


This man with Owen....
This woman with Morgan....
and this guy with Livy.
They are my ex-husbands father, mother and brother. And they are truly great people.

We went to visit them in Buffalo, NY over Spring Break and I was reminded again of how much I love them all.


I have realized there is this consistent thing about me in my relationships....


...I always love the family of whoever I am dating, and if I don't, the relationship won't work.


This dates all the way back to 9th grade.


9th grade boyfriend--Matt Layton. Love his family.


11th grade boyfriend--Brandon Rhoner. Love his family.


College boyfriend--Riley Booth. Love his family.


Married--Cameron Dayton. SUPER love his family. And not just mom, dad and brothers (and sis-in-laws), but cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents. The whole sha-bang. Love them all.


We had such a fantastic time in New York playing and visiting with these great people.


We went to the Strong Museum of Play. It was amazing and the kids loved it.


We went to Niagara Falls. It really is an incredible sight. Livy thought so too until she fell 3 times on her bottom in the mud at which point she screamed at the top of her lungs, "I WANT TO GO HOME!!!!" And while it was tragic for her, it was pretty funny to the rest of us. She refused to take any other pictures after that because she had mud on her pants and "looked yucky". Poor girl.
Then we went to an indoor water park right by Niagara Falls which was really cool and again, the kids has a blast. Grandma and Grandpa sure know how to have fun.
I'm so grateful I can still have a relationship with these great people whom I still consider family. We had a lot of fun.

Challenge #12

Sorry for all my slackerliness.

I just got back in town yesterday and I've been playing catch-up.

Sooooo, onto the challenge.

This week the challenge is to buy and prepare 2 vegetables that you have never or rarely had before.

The produce isle is full of so much stuff that many of us walk right past because we don't know what to do with it.

Our diets remain boring and unchanged, especially in this area, and it's time to expand.

Whatever it is you decide to get I am certain you can find a recipe online telling you how to prepare it.

So go out, purchase a couple of unsuspecting vegetables and expand that palate of yours!

VOTE OVER THERE------->>>

Hey Peoples....I need you to vote.

See that little poll to your right, just check a box (or circle really).

I'm trying to decide if I should do a separate blog for fitness or not.

So I need to know why people read my blog.

Voting is completely confidential...I have no idea who you are if you vote.

So vote freely!

Now. :)

Detour Ahead

So here's the thing.

Remember how we were all ready to get a house?

Well, it's sort of on the back burner for now...for reasons I will not post here.

So what is one to do when they are all set and ready to move from a 2 bedroom apartment in the ghetto to a 2300 square foot home in paradise?

CLEAN & REORGANIZE!!!

Remember the kids closet that used to look like this?

Well now it looks like this:

(It's an improvement, I promise)

And their dresser that used to look like this?

Now it looks like this:

I've also done my closet.

Next will be the front room and then the kitchen.

It feels so good to get things back in order.

Who needs a new house when you can reorganize the space you've got?

All that means is I get to enjoy my Simple Life just a little bit longer.

And as long as Shane is next to me the Simple Life is all I need.

Challenge #11--Top Me Off!

We're going to do the water challenge one more time.

If your week went anything like mine you were really good the first 2 days, okay the next 2 days and less than stellar the last 2 days.

Let's try it again. 

The more we do it while thinking about it, the better we will become at it when we're not.  

Remember 96 0z is your baseline.  For all other details click here.

Thirsty anyone?

Fascinating

See these 3 cuties?

They are cousins.

Their moms are sisters.

Maggie (left) will be 2 in July.  She's Allyson's.

Brooklyn (middle) will be 3 this Thursday.  She's Jenny's.

Morgan is in between them @ 2 1/2.  She's mine.

So how is it that they all look so different?

Fascinating.

Challenge #10

Honestly, I think one of the biggest secrets to staying thin is water and lots of it.

Often people think they are drinking a lot of water but don't really have any idea of how much they are drinking.

I think you might be surprised to find out that you aren't drinking as much as you're supposed to.

So challenge #10 is drinking the right amount of water for your body.

How much is that, you ask me?  Well let me tell you.

Straight out of my NASM text here are the guidelines:

• On average an individual should consume about 96 oz (3 quarts) of water per day. **That is MORE than the 8 glasses a day that we have heard forever.
• Those in fat-loss programs should drink an additional 8 oz for every 25 pounds they carry above their ideal weight.
• Drink 20-40 oz of water for every hour of exercise.

When you are properly hydrated you body will function much more efficiently...in exercise and just in every day life.  Your body can adapt to many things, but it CANNOT adapt to dehydration.

So let that water bottle be attached to you hip.

Figure out exactly how much you need to drink every day and drink it from morning to night. (Please do not try to drink a ton all at once, that can be dangerous.  Spread it out through the day).

Mmmmmmm, water.

Drink up!

The Bachelor

I don't watch this show.  

I've never seen one episode with this guy on it, but apparently he has done something to tick everyone off.

I don't care about any of that.  

The thing about this guy is that Shane has had several people tell him he looks "just like The Bachelor" or that The Bachelor reminds them of Shane.

Some girl he hasn't spoken to in over a year emailed him specifically just to say she thinks this.

I can't see it. 

Maybe they are alike, maybe they aren't, but nevertheless there are 2 major differences:

1. Shane is much better looking.

And

2. Shane is definitely NOT a bachelor.

He's taken. :)

13:43 Baby!

Last night I told Shane, "Tomorrow's the day.  I'm gonna do it."

He looked at me and said, "You're right.  Tomorrow's the day.  I can feel it."

Now I felt like I had to do it. (I love having a husband that really believes in me).

"It", of course, is running 2 miles under 14 minutes.

I don't even know how I decided this was my goal...but it has been my goal for awhile now.

So this morning when Allyson and I got in the car for the gym I told her that today was the day too.

Now 2 people knew.  I had to do it.

When I started running, my immediate thought was, "This is WAY too fast.  I can't do this."

In fact, the conversation in my head went a little something like this:

"You don't really HAVE to do this today.  You're not quite ready. Just slow down."

"Shut up voice in my head, I AM going to do this today.  I CAN do it TODAY."

"Maybe I can just slow down for a little bit."

"You'd better not slow down.  Keep going."

"I'm really hurting and I want to puke and my legs are killing and OUCH!"

"Come on, it's only a few more minutes.  Just do it."

"I'm only at 10 minutes, aghhhhhh!!!!"

"Look, you're already at 10 minutes.  Just a few more to go."

"But my lungs are burning and I feel like my chocolate peppermint stick Luna protein bar is on it's way up.

"Tara on the Biggest Loser works to the point of vomiting all the time...if you're not puking you are just fine.  Push."

And before I knew it, there I was.  

I was at the finish line.

I had accomplished my goal.

I had beaten that little voice in my head. (that voice can be a real jerk.)

I had not only gotten under 14 minutes, but 17 seconds under 14 minutes.

13 minutes and 43 seconds.

And guess what...

...it felt awesome!

Allergies, Ugh!

Do you see this poor kid?

He has had some sort of allergy problem off and on for quite some time.

I finally decided that Benadryl just wasn't cutting it and now that we have good insurance, I took him to see an allergy specialist.

Turns out he's "moderately" allergic to grass and trees and "mildly" allergic to weeds.  But the doctor said that in a 4 year old this translates to some "pretty bad allergies."

I actually began getting allergies when I was pregnant with Owen...so it figures he'd have them.  I don't know how, but it just figures. :)

I am finally going to get my own allergies tested in 2 weeks.

I have them really bad -- almost to the point of not being able to function some days.  

Every year I keep thinking I might win the allergy lottery and somehow they will just be gone.

So far this hasn't happened and they are already starting to manifest this year.

I can't take it anymore!

Challenge #9

I toyed with the idea of doing a vegetarian week, but I decided baby-steps would be best.

So challenge #9 is simply--No Beef.

No ground beef in your cassaroles, no shredded beef salads at Cafe Rio, and obviously, most of all, no fast food hamburgers.  (or homemade hamburgers for that matter).

I realize this may mean some tweeking of menus...tweek away!

Try to replace beef with healthier choices like chicken or fish or try to eat a vegetarian meal.

Just leave the cows out of this.

Have you ever cut beef out of your life for one week?

I wonder what it feels like.

We shall see....