About 9 or 10 months ago Shane came home from work one day and said:
"ASU put in a bid to teach in Iraq. We'd be teaching teacher trainers (Shane's favorite type of teaching) from Iraq how to teach better English in their schools. I'm sure we won't get it, but it's a possibility and if we do, I will most likely go."
I knew right then he'd be going.
I just felt it--and if you know me at all, I'm a feeler.
Feel-er (noun) = someone who can feel when something is right or wrong or if something is really going to happen.
That's me.
So of course, ASU won the bid and Shane was selected to go.
First it was just going to be two 10 day sessions in November and December. Then it got pushed back to mid-March, then the beginning of April. And then it wasn't just for 10 days, but for 2 months! I wonder how long Shane knew this before he let me know. He was pretty evasive when I'd ask questions. Hmmmm, sneaky guy. :)
Anyway, it seemed like it wasn't ever really going to come... until it came. Now it feels like it will never really be over. And yet I know it will be.
It's times like these I really feel like Morgan or Olivia, cursed with extreme emotions. When Olivia and Tatum get in a fight and Olivia claims, with much conviction I might add: "I NEVER want to see Tatum again. She is the meanest person in the whole world!!!" Or Morgan telling me: "I can't stop crying. I tried EVERYTHING and I just can't stop!"
I get this.
Sometimes I find myself thinking, "Shane will NEVER be home. I hate this!" I try to keep it on the inside (unless I'm talking to Shane), but I find myself wanting to pout like a 5-year old all the time. It's good to have kids to give me some perspective so I can see how silly it sounds/looks.
However, I must say that this situation has definitely changed me--a lot.
I've had a lot of time to think about what's important to me. What matters. Who matters. And why they matter. What I should worry about and what I shouldn't worry about. What deserves my time and what doesn't.
It's been really good.
I know there have been days when Shane was here that I took him for granted. I feel bad for that. And I'm afraid of doing that again. It's so easy to do when someone is so close to you.
But a big part of this change in me sees the importance of not taking him, or any other people I love in my life, for granted. They are to be loved and appreciated every day.
And as Shane gets ready to come home (2 weeks from today!) I prep my heart for the real test.
...Loving him and appreciating him while he's here. :)
9 comments:
great tribute. you're so right..i miss my hub so bad when he's gone and have to work hard not to take him for granted when he's here.
Thanks, hon. I love you, too. And for the record...I did NOT keep anything back from Dixie about Iraq being 2 months long. I told her things when I knew them. And I ASKED Dixie if I could go. She's the boss. She's my boss, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
P.S. I bet Dixie KNEW I was going to comment/complain about her suggestion that I was sneaky. In fact, she probably said it for fun. My wife knows me well enough to push my buttons that way. Me=Sneaky. So NOT true.
WHA???? No post about his awesome surprise visit home?? :) That makes him extra cool in my book.
I'm impressed with you and your strength through this. So glad that he comes home in 2 weeks!!!
Great post! I can't imagine how impossibly long and awful it feels most days. You've been pretty freakin' amazing!! Hooray for the final countdown...
...and Shane's surprise home visit is what proves that he's "sneaky". Hehehe
I would like to state, for the record, that last picture of you and Shane is a REAL keeper. You both look smashing!
Also, Shane is a real catch, and I'm so glad that you caught him and he will be home soon and you can love him in person again.
And finally, in conclusion...stop taking me for granted. I'm RIGHT here. (giggle, giggle)
Amen.
There is an old saying (I am old, so I can say it, right?) that absence makes the heart grow fonder! It is true. I appreciate your perspective in this phase of your life. You have more wisdom than most women your age. No matter what age we are, we need to keep our loved ones our first and foremost priority. I needed your "thought" in my day. You are awesome.
Great perspective! Life sometimes has a way of causing us to push our amazing perspectives to the back burner, so I hope you can keep yours to the forefront forever. We're counting down the days with you until Shane gets home! It's not the same without him, no matter how amazingly you have handled things and all you've accomplishesd in his absence. It will be so much better when he's here again. Loved the visit tonight. Dad commented that we had a nice mini reunion tonight. Just a missed a couple of our other busy children. But there's next weekend and hopefully we'll see them then. Hasta la pasta
Dixie, that is so sweet. I am so sorry that he has been away for so long. That must take its toll on you. But your perspective is an example to me. Two more weeks...hang in there!
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