For Susan

There is one woman in this world that is second only to my mother in her impact and influence in my life.

Her name is Susan and she happens to be the mother of my ex-husband.

I have loved her from the beginning....and through everything, I have never stopped loving her.

For a long time in the Dayton family she and I were the only women around and we bonded. A lot.

While most people would say, "Ugh, my mother-in-law is coming to visit." I would say, "YES! My mother-in-law is coming to visit. I'm so excited!"

She is always ALWAYS thinking of other people.

I began watching her right away to figure out how I could be more like her. So alive. So bright and full of energy. So much fun to be around.

She is the best hostess you will ever meet and I always wanted to figure out how to do that because she makes everyone feel so welcome--and that is truly a talent.

When Olivia was about 5 months old Susan and Merril moved to New York. All the rest of her sons (my brother-in-laws) were in Utah. We would have them over for Sunday dinner and other events often--not because I felt like it was my responsibility, but because I loved it. And also because I felt like Susan had really taught me how to host and how to enjoy it. I valued (and still do) all the things I learned from her.

She's so good at just dropping little tid-bits of information or suggestions without pushing them on you. More like, "I've learned this really interesting thing, maybe it would work for you."

When I moved to my Lehi house I was 9 months pregnant and tired. Susan unpacked my entire kitchen and much of my house. (among a million other things). When I moved from my Lehi house, leaving in the wake of a divorce from her son, she was right there to help too and I remember thinking, "How in the world would I do any of this without Susan?" She's amazing...and now I'm crying.

Why?

Because while Susan beat breast cancer a few years ago the cancer has returned, but this time it is all throughout her body and the doctors prognosis isn't promising. Liver, lungs, bones, and brain have been affected. Word is, it's terminal.

I sobbed when I heard the news. For myself and for my kids--especially for my Olivia who thinks her Grandma Susan hung the moon.

I've cried many times in the wake of this news not knowing quite what to do with it. I told Shane it was really weird for me to sort of be on the "outside" of all of this with Susan. My Susan. But here I am.

When I got divorced Susan cried because she said she didn't want to lose me. I assured her that she wouldn't. We had done nothing wrong and just because the situation changed didn't mean that our relationship had to. But it has. Our love for each other hasn't, but our relationship has had to make some adjustments.

I guess that's exactly how I feel now. No matter what happens, or how the future changes, I will always love her--even if the situation changes some. She has changed my life forever. Even with all its hardships I wouldn't change an ounce of my past because I value my relationship with her so much.

There are very few people that impact your life so fully and so directly in such a remarkable way as Susan has for me.

And for that I just want to say...

Thank You.