To The Check Out Guy at Dick's Sporting Goods...

My sincerest apologies.

Tonight Shane and I went to pick up a few items at Dick's for our upcoming bike adventure along the California coast.

When we were buying our stuff the cashier guy, a young man who was maybe 19, with dark hair and an innocent face, asked Shane if he had a "Score Card".  This is basically their store card that helps you save money or something like that.

Shane said "Yes", but I had never seen nor heard of said "Score Card" so I thought he was confused.  Poor thing, needs me to keep him on track sometimes. :)

The next 5 minutes consisted of me asking Shane if he really had one and him telling me yes, he thought he did, in fact he was sure he did and me telling him I didn't think he did....for 5 minutes, all the while getting louder and more annoyed with each other.

Then the kid finally found Shane's name in the system and announced, "Ah, there you are."

Shane did in fact have a Score Card.

This discovery was followed by an awkward pause...

I turned to Shane slowly and said, "I'm sorry I didn't believe you."

And he said to me, "I'm sorry I got snippy."  

And then he turned to the check out boy and said, "I'm sorry we made you feel uncomfortable."

The kid put his hands in front of him, raised his eyebrows, shook his head and said, "Hey, I have no idea what's going on."

Shane & I started laughing so hard and I think the poor kid still didn't quite know what to do.

Why do they have those dumb Score Card's anyway?

I'm No Writer...

Oh, I believe I failed to mention that my father, Bishop Shumway, has given me another calling in the ward.

I was certain that with all the hype and build-up the last calling had, only to find out it was "Ward Canning Specialist", that this calling couldn't possibly be worse.

I underestimated my father.

Really, I racked my brain to think what calling he could possibly give me to top that last one.

I was really trying and I felt I was prepared for ANYTHING he was going to throw at me.

So as he sat across the table from me smiling.

 I smiled back.

"So what is it this time dad?"

"Well," he started, "I hear you are quite the writer."

"No.  No I'm not."  I was immediately nervous and wanted him to stop thinking that right away.

He continued on, "Well, I've heard you're quite good and we would like to call you to be the script writer for our ward's Roadshow."

------KABOOM!-------

My mind just exploded.

"Seriously Dad?  Are you being serious?"  

I swear every time I'm in there I start looking around for a hidden camera.  I'm sure my expressions are priceless.  Actually, a hidden camera is probably a good idea for anyone getting a calling...they are usually pretty unexpected.

Anyway, he assured me he was quite serious.

I informed him that he had topped my last experience in his office and wished him a good day.

He said, "So is that a yes?"

I smiled as pleasantly as I could and said, "Yes."

Then I walked out.

Flush This

Okay, what I'd like to know is what jerk invented automatic flushing toilets?

I used to think these were a brilliant invention.

Robot toilets!  Incredible!

I knew we had turned a technilogical corner...we no longer had to flush our own poop.

Who wouldn't enjoy such an invention?

Answer: Morgan.

Automatic toilets are apparently terrifying in her world, and judging from her reaction to said toilets I'd say they are on the same scale as flesh eating monsters.

Ugh.

Every new potty we encounter she asks tentatively, "Does this potty flush?"

 "No Morgan, this potty does not flush.  We flush it right here when you're done."

Often she is skeptical and if she doesn't trust it she will say she no longer needs to go.

Yesterday we went to the mall play place.

It is on the opposite end of the mall from the bathrooms (brilliant design Fiesta Mall).

Of course Morgan decides she needs to go potty.

We truck all the way across the mall.  (Luckily we didn't see Paul Blart this time. :)

Finally we get to the bathroom and she asks that blasted question: 

"Does this potty flush?"

I cringed when I looked at them, that little red sensor happily blinking back at me, just waiting to flush away our poop for us.

I hesitated, "Ummm, yes Morgan, these potty's do flush, but I can put my hand here so it doesn't."

I demonstrated as I covered the sensor, doing my best to sell the safety of the situation to her.

She was buying it!

She started to climb on the potty and had just gotten into position when the toilet next to us exploded in a very loud flush.

She jumped off in a flash, and said, "Fink I don't need to go anymore.  I'n done."

"No Morgan, you're not done.  That was the other potty that flushed, see this one is still safe."

A lot of coaxing.  

More selling of the safety of my hand over the sensor.

Finally she got back on.

Repeat the above scene 5 more times (I'm not joking).

I wanted to punch everyone right in the bladder.

After the 5th time there was nothing I could say or do to get her back on...she was done.

We trek all the way back across the mall to the play place.

Ugh.

So to you Mr. Automatic Toilet Flusher Inventor...

I don't like you.

We don't need robot toilets.  

We can flush our own poop, thank you very much.

Be Impressed. Be Very Impressed.

It is a well known fact that I am among the least crafty people on the planet.

Those "no fail" craft projects they do at Enrichment night...I fail.

So don't ask me why today I decided I could make some bows, but that's what I wanted to do.

I got a bunch of stuff and figured I'd just fake my way through.

Unfortunately I made the mistake of telling the kids they could help too.

After about 5 minutes there was a lot of screaming going on...mostly at the dang bows...and everyone was pretty unhappy (including me who was accused by Livy of being bossy).  Rude.

Owen and Morgan bowed out (or were put in time outs, can't quite recall) and Livy, despite much complaining, decided to keep on trying.

What a trooper.

So here are our results.

The orange fluffy bows are what I came up with.

I have no idea how I did it and they will probably disintegrate if you touch them, but I think they turned out cute.

These white bows are Livy's lovely creation.

She worked long and hard on them.

Simple, yet elegant.  :)

Now off to Greer for a week of heaven on earth.

Hooray!

Deja Vous

When I was 4 or 5 years old, having my cousin Wendy over to play was a huge treat.

Here is a picture of us as Christmas Angels in a re-enactment of the Nativity.

I'm the hot blonde on the right and she's the sassy brunette in the middle. (that's her cute little sister Sarah next to her and my sister Jenny in the background).

I do remember feeling quite fancy in this little get up.  

But let me get to my point.

One day when Wendy came over to play I decided to test her loyalty to me.

Porter was trying to play with us too and I'd had enough.  I wanted Wendy to myself so I turned to her and said, "Either you can play with me or with Porter."

I was certain she would choose me.

Why wouldn't she choose me?

Imagine my astonishment when she actually chose Porter!

In a huff I ran into the house and locked them out.

Hmpf!  That'll show 'em.

Well, Porter in all his brute six-year-old-strength began knocking on the glass window of the door and actually busted through it with his fist.

Blood everywhere.

Major time out for me...I spend the rest of the afternoon in my room.

I still can't believe she chose Porter.

.....Fast Forward 25 years later.....

Livy has Maya over to play.

Owen tries to infiltrate the play date.

And then it happens, total deja vous, except this time Livy decides to test her brother's loyalty instead of her cousins.

"Okay Owen," she starts, "Who do you choose?  Me or Maya?"

I could hear the confidence in her voice.

She was certain he would choose her.

Why wouldn't he choose her?

I was nervous as I listened from the kitchen because I'd been through this before...I had a feeling it might not go quite as she had planned.

Owen took his time to answer, but he finally burst out, "I choose Maya."

Immediately Livy felt the betrayal and shouted, "Owen, why would you choose Maya?!"

She was hurt and I understood her pain.

Luckily there were no windows to punch through or anything like that...it ended fairly peacefully, but I couldn't help but think about all the hard lessons we have to learn as kids.

Betrayal, hurt, rejection, humiliation, sadness, etc.

They are hard lessons.

I'm still learning how to deal with them.

And it made me wonder,

...will they ever get easier?

Warm and Fuzzy or Straight Shooter

Shane has to give a personality test to his students.

One of the test questions asks are you more "warm and fuzzy or straight forward"?

Or maybe it asks if you prefer to be warm and fuzzy or straight forward....

Whatever, it got Shane and I talking about it.  

He asked me if I think I'm more warm and fuzzy or straight forward.

Yeah, I know all of you just laughed.

He knew the answer too...I think he was just testing me.

Let's face it, there is not a warm and fuzzy personality in my whole family.

I didn't stand a chance.

I suppose I'd say Porter is the closest to that, but truth be told he's a warm and fuzzy straight shooter.

But what I told Shane is that I wish I was a warm and fuzzy personality.

You know, the kind of person that everyone says, "Oh I just lover her, she's the nicest person I know."

I'm well aware that this is not the statement that is said about me when I walk out of a room.

The problem is I am constantly observing and I'm highly dedicated to truth and honesty...so being a straight shooter is who I am. (not that warm and fuzzy people are liars...oh gees, you know what I mean).

I have a lot of friends that I would put in the warm and fuzzy category:  Kate Arnett, Greg & Tammy (they are the cutest couple...had to put them in together), Jennifer Carlson, Janelle Wheadon, Brooke Kane, Kristina Christopherson, Summer Driggs...and more.  

I love these people.

They are warm and kind and friendly and think a lot about others.

I want to be more like them.

I just don't know how to be.

I asked Shane, "So what is it that people do say about me?"

He just smiled.

...I think he was afraid to answer.

I Pledge Allegiance...

Patriotism has never been my strong suit.

Yeah, we have freedoms, so what?

And why do some crazy people have American flags on everything?

I remember as a kid trying to feel patriotic and grateful to be an American, but I just didn't get it.

Today that has changed.

I'm not exactly sure what has changed or when it changed, but it has definitely changed.

Maybe it's the fact that I am starting to feel our freedoms being taken away...not from other countries, but from our own.

Maybe it's the fact that I have been paying more attention to what it actually means to go to war and what the men and women that do go to war endure....before, during and after.

Maybe it's the fact that I no longer take for granted the human lives that were sacrificed to fight for our freedoms.

Maybe it's the fact that I want my children to grow up free--free to ride bikes, free to have opinions, free to worship, free to learn, free to work, free from an oppressive government.

I don't know what it was about today, but as we sang America the Beautiful and The Star Spangled Banner my eyes filled with tears and my heart swelled with pride to be an American and gratitude for the soldiers that were in the room with us and awe for all who put themselves in harms way to preserve Freedom.

I admire the signers of The Declaration of Independence and all they suffered because they knew how important it was.  Why don't we?

I feel guilty for ever taking America and all it's freedoms for granted.

I'm sorry I haven't fully appreciated all the people who have sacrificed for me.

Please forgive me.