I'm a realist.
I have always thought of this as a good thing, which it is in many ways, but Shane really helped me to see why it's not so great at times. (Kudos honey, kudos).
So here's how it came about...
We were discussing my sweet brother Porter who is the ultimate dreamer. It's one of his most endearing qualities.
For example, when Dara Torres won the silver medal at the Olympics at age 43 my brother Porter called me up and said, "Do you want to swim train with me? I want to make the next Olympics. If Dara Torres can do it, so can I." (I promise you I am not joking about this).
I laughed. Not because I wouldn't love to be in the next Olympics too and be a national sensation, but because I couldn't even see the dream. What I saw was 8 hour training sessions, trying to juggle babysitting for three kids, and trying to get a husband on board with this idea. The dream never even had a chance because I smashed it to pieces before it could even take root.
For as long as I have known Porter, which is my whole life, every time after a summer Olympics airs he has decided he wants to be in the Olympics the next time around. I love this about him. As kids I used to get on board with this and dream about it a little, but at some point I lost that ability to dream and think big... for anything. Everything became: responsibilities, logistics, reality, etc. No room for dreaming.
Shane asked me why I refuse to dream. When I thought about it, aside from worrying about all the logistics of getting there, I told him my two biggest reasons are:
1. I don't want to be disappointed.
2. I don't want to disappoint others.
Even as I said it it sounded dumb.
Really? Disappointment? This one little word (well, okay, it's kind of a long word) is stopping me from dreaming big and possibly realizing some of those big dreams?
Lame.
This needs to change. (and pointers from "dreamers" would be much appreciated).
Maybe I can be a Realist with a minor in Dreaming. :)
8 comments:
No wonder we get along! I feel I am exactly the same way!
This post made me laugh. We are too much alike. In fact, Brian calls me "Dream Crusher" for short. He's a dreamer. I am not.
Good luck dreaming. I think you can do it. I know my limits. I'll probably be a Dream Crusher forever.
I'm the same way! Poor elo he's a dreamer He bought a lottery ticket last week and had it all planned out down to the last dollar of where the money would go . Not just like 500,000 for amhouse no it was broken up into yearly increments because he wouldn't takenthe cash settlement and he had a whole budget all figured out each year! My nice reaction "You just wasted your five bucks"........and he did.
I am exactly like YOU, which is odd, since I'm so NOT like you in most every other way. BUT, when it comes to dreaming and reality, the freaking reality wins EVERY time. Porter is cute with his dreamer ways, that's true. Anyway, if you figure out how to let go of all the crappy worries of reality and such, let me know.
I know where you are coming from on this "non-dreamer" idea. I do it all too well, but in June 2009 I went to a seminar at a holistic chiropractic office on making your own "mind movie." I was to select music that uplifted me, pictures to inspire me, and list ideas that I wanted to happen or become reality. I wanted to get well again, so I put in pictures of me when I was really healthy, as well as photos of my children, grandchildren, etc. and a few odds and ends photos of a bigger newer house, nicer furniture, and such. You get the picture. I played the mind movie every morning and night for all summer. On September 10, 2009 Steve saw the house in LV and made an offer, we closed on it October 6 and moved from Texas on December 1st. Only after the move did I realize I had dreamed an impossible dream and it came true. I am still working on the part to get totally healthy! Maybe I am a dreamer after all!
I am too much of a realist also for much of the same reasons that you list.
However, you have much more of the ability to dream and help others to dream than you acknowledge in your blog.
I can now say that I am a half marathon runner - something I probably never would have accomplished without you inspiring me to dream.
That is so funny. I got a little giggle out of the Olympic story bc I remember Porter telling us all about it. It really it such an admirable trait to dream big. Wish I had it.
I suck as a dreamer. I was really hoping when I clicked on the comment button I would be flooded with great insight from all the dreamers. Seems they are all out living those dreams.
For me part of the problem is too many unknowns required to plan a "dream," most often the dream is something never done, which makes it very difficult to think of all the possible facets that require careful planning to accomplish that dream.
I don't see pictures in my head either, I blame this for part of my inability to dream.
I will be back soon, hopefully the dreamers will throw us a bone...Porter? Bueller? Anyone?
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