I Strongly Dislike Crazy Hair Day...

This is what my children looked like as they walked out the door for school this morning.

I know it's nothing impressive, but it was no small feat.

Mostly because of this girl:

Olivia plans and schemes for weeks about Crazy Hair Day.  She has all kinds of ideas about what it's going to look like.  Somehow I am supposed to know this and bring it to life and if I can't then crying and screaming will ensue.

And it did.

There was a solid 10-15 minutes of bawling and shouting from Olivia because, well, I don't even know why because every time I would touch her hair to try something she was already upset.  When I finally told her that I wouldn't listen to it anymore and that unless she calmed down she could do her own hair she shouted inane things like, "You just love Owen and Morgan more than me. You don't even love me you only love them!!!!"

Hmmmmmm, okay.

Stupid Crazy Hair Day.

I'm happy to report that calmness was finally achieved and the above hairstyle was deemed acceptable.

Ugh.

Owen, on the other hand, was pleased as punch that we were able to do three of the tiniest pony tails I have ever done in my life.  Easy-smeesy and no crying or complaining. 

Thank you Owen.

Likewise, Morgan was real easy to please. 

She took out her buns from yesterday and her hair essentially looked like this in the morning.  She has bed-head unlike any other I have seen.  So we teased it up some more and hairsprayed the crud out of it.

Is there a 1980's hair band somewhere missing their lead singer? 

I never realized how tiny her face is until it was lost amongst this massive poof of hair.

Anyway, I'm glad it's over.  

...At least until next year.

ugh.

Oh To Be Four Again...

Morgan is now officially incorporated into Swim Skillz.

It's been rough, but we are getting there.

Yesterday I explained before we got in that if we could stay focused and on task we could get through the workout in 30 minutes and then have time to play when we got home.

Now, I have said this before, but for some reason it really struck a chord with all of them yesterday and they hit the water with force.

Even the lifeguard (who has been with me through this whole journey) commented that, "They are all business today."

'Twas true.

And Morgan was hyper-focused.  This is the girl that screamed and cried at me for having to swim just one lap.  But now she was going like crazy on her own.

I told her to swim 2 laps freestyle.  Instead she swam a lap, got out and did push ups, and then swam a lap back and asked, "Okay, what's next?"

I think I just sat there blinking at her for a second trying to figure out what was going on.  Needless to say I gave her several more laps of kicking and freestyle and then she told me she wanted to do Butterfly.  So she swam about 1/3 a lap of a pretty decent butterfly and then came up and said, "Did you see that?"  I said, "Yeah, that was really good." And she said, "Yeah, but I was taking like no breaths and I was like 'What am I doing, I'm not taking any breaths!'" And then with that she decided she was done and went over to the other side of the pool to play.

Well, what Morgan doesn't understand yet is that she doesn't decided when practice is over.  I do. :)

So I let her play for a bit while I worked with Owen and Livy and then when she came back over I informed her she had 2 more laps of freestyle and then she would be done.

She yelled,  "Ahhhhhh!  I already worked so hard and now you're just making me do more!"

"Yes, you have worked hard.  You've done such a great job, now you just have 2 more laps and you are done."

And then as she slapped the water some more in frustration she yelled again and said, "I wish I was still 4! When you are 4 you have a better life!"

I looked at the life guard to see if he was getting this, and he was, and we both just laughed and I told him it was probably true...when you are 4 you probably do have a better life.  But alas, she is 5 and hard things have come upon her, the most recent thing being two more laps of freestyle.

Eventually she got it done.  She somehow survived and everything was okay.

But let's be honest, life will never be the same.

Five is just not four.

Is Katy Perry Evil?

So here's the thing...


Today I'm driving down the road, no kids in the car, and a Katy Perry song comes on the radio.  


It's Teenage Dream.  


It's a really catchy song that I have been very clear with my kids they are NOT allowed to listen to because the lyrics are so wrong it makes me sick.  And yet every time it comes on the radio I want to listen to it because really, it's catchy.  But I don't.  I change the station because I don't think I should be listening to it for the same reasons my kids shouldn't be.


So the next station I turn to also had a Katy Perry song playing.


Last Friday Night.


And I'm met with the same dilemma.  I actually like to listen to the song but I feel like it's really wrong.  The lyrics are so messed up, especially for young kids to be hearing messages like this.  So I turned it off and I started thinking, how does somebody feel like it is okay to put these messages out to kids and teenagers (or anyone for that matter)?


Shane and I have talked about Katy Perry a lot and what to do about her songs because the kids all want to listen to her and all their friends at school listen to her.  They even play her music at school carnivals from the DJ booth.  Shane thinks she is evil and her lyrics make me think maybe she is too.  Her songs are the last thing I want my kids listening to.  


I decided to research her a little more today to try to figure out where she came from and why she does what she does.  I went to the ever reliable Wikipedia where I learned she is the daughter of two pastors (of course!) and her mother never let her listen to "secular" music growing up, only gospel music.  When she began pursuing her music career her first attempts were at Gospel Rock and she was highly unsuccessful.  Of course she was.  There is nothing sexy or immediately gratifying about Gospel Rock so why would anyone care? It was only once she went to pop and dropped all things moral that she was highly, EXTREMELY successful.  Suddenly she got triple platinum songs and albums, her success is even compared to Michael Jackson in some areas, and she gets married to Russell Brand.  


As I read all that I tried to think about every moment she realized she was compromising morally for the success she really wanted, and I am certain there were a lot of moral compromises going on.  Especially for someone who grew up with a religious background.  Then at the end of her wiki page there is this quote:


In an interview with Rolling Stone she said, "I am sensitive to Russell taking the Lord's name in vain and to Lady Gaga putting a rosary in her mouth. I think when you put sex and spirituality in the same bottle and shake it up, bad things happen."


And there I found it.  The rationalization that allows her to do what she does.  She has convinced herself that as long as you don't put sex and spirituality together that it's okay.  That statement, combined with the songs that she sings, is so absurd it is just too much for me to take.


I have some news for you Katy Perry, bad things also happen when you promote teenage sex as fun and exciting.


There will be repercussions for the teenagers that buy into it and someday, there will be repercussions for you.


So is Katy Perry Evil? 


I don't think so.  I think the word I would chose would be "confused", which is what happens when you compromise on your morality.  You get really, really confused.  


She doesn't know what she's doing anymore... and that's scary.

Satan Created Angry Birds--I Can Prove It.

I am nearly certain Satan himself invented Angry Birds.

"Dixie," you say, "That is simply not possible."

Ohhhh, but it is.

"You are being unreasonable."

Am I?

Those cute little birds suck me in to a crazed mental state with their sweet little faces and simple tricks. And then I keep wondering what special NEW bird will I unlock next?!

Boom-A-Rang Bird, are you serious?!?!  It's so cool!

I also care for Big Fat Bird a great deal. (I don't think that's the real name, but that's what I call it).

And if I could just get a whole slew of Bomb Birds I could do just about anything.

(Just don't give me any of that plain little red bird.  He's useless I tell you, USELESS!)

Then they create these clever levels with all kinds of fun stuff, (including bouncy beach balls for pete's sake!) and before I know it I'm sneaking the iPad around, trying to play Angry Birds in dark corners so the kids can't see because....well,  I'm addicted to it!

And I think we all know: addiction=Satan.

So clearly, Angry Birds was created by Satan.

I rest my case.

A Dreamer I Am Not...

Shane and I just spent the morning discussing the fact that I am not a dreamer.

I'm a realist.

I have always thought of this as a good thing, which it is in many ways, but Shane really helped me to see why it's not so great at times. (Kudos honey, kudos).

So here's how it came about...

We were discussing my sweet brother Porter who is the ultimate dreamer.  It's one of his most endearing qualities.

For example, when Dara Torres won the silver medal at the Olympics at age 43 my brother Porter called me up and said, "Do you want to swim train with me?  I want to make the next Olympics.  If Dara Torres can do it, so can I."  (I promise you I am not joking about this).

I laughed.  Not because I wouldn't love to be in the next Olympics too and be a national sensation, but because I couldn't even see the dream.  What I saw was 8 hour training sessions, trying to juggle babysitting for three kids, and trying to get a husband on board with this idea.  The dream never even had a chance because I smashed it to pieces before it could even take root.

For as long as I have known Porter, which is my whole life, every time after a summer Olympics airs he has decided he wants to be in the Olympics the next time around.  I love this about him.  As kids I used to get on board with this and dream about it a little, but at some point I lost that ability to dream and think big... for anything.  Everything became: responsibilities, logistics, reality, etc.  No room for dreaming.

Shane asked me why I refuse to dream.  When I thought about it, aside from worrying about all the logistics of getting there, I told him my two biggest reasons are:

1. I don't want to be disappointed.
2. I don't want to disappoint others.

Even as I said it it sounded dumb.

Really?  Disappointment?  This one little word (well, okay, it's kind of a long word) is stopping me from dreaming big and possibly realizing some of those big dreams?

Lame.

This needs to change. (and pointers from "dreamers" would be much appreciated).

Maybe I can be a Realist with a minor in Dreaming. :)

Marketing Madness

Don't even worry about it.  I'm totally writing a blog post.

So the other day I said something in passing to Shane that went like this, "Yeah, Owen wants to have Scott over for Friendly Friday so I had to...."

Shane: "Wait. What? Friendly Friday?  What the heck is that?"

And so I had to explain, not just "Friendly Friday", but what I have figured out works wonders with my kids...for them and for me.

I market everything to them.

Yep. I've become a marketing whiz.  Does anyone want to hire me?  I have some really fabulous ideas. :)

I think it started with swim skillz.  We gave it a name.  It became an actual "thing", so if we missed it we didn't just miss going to the YMCA to work on our swimming, we missed SWIM SKILLZ.  It was a real thing and we didn't want to miss it.  In the simple act of naming it became more important, more significant.  And suddenly I was understanding marketing a little bit more.  Why iPads/iPhones/iPods etc are so cool, in part, is because of the name.  It's not just a small little computer, it's an iPad.  Bam!

So I have developed names for real things we do and suddenly they become more real, cool, important and fun.  That's how "Friendly Friday" came to be.

Play dates these days are no longer an easy affair.  Gone are the days of living in the neighborhood with all the kids you go to school with.  We are blessed with cousins close by so we can play with them, but I want the kids to know how to make friends with other people too.  We live a good 8.5 miles away from the school and any neighborhoods that feed into it.  So play dates require me tracking down the mom of the child my child has selected as their "Friendly Friday Friend", getting a phone number, actually connecting with them on the phone, and then working out the details of pick ups and drop offs.  It's no easy feat to say the least.  It usually takes a few days to actually speak to the mom.  And I have to do this for all three kids.  It's awesome.  I do feel it is important for them to connect with their peers outside of school.  But I also know that the headache of doing all of this calling and setting up is annoying and just the thought of it makes me want to take a nap on the couch.  So for my own sake I gave it a name and a place: Friendly Friday, every other friday.  This did two things: 1. It made me feel like I have to follow through and 2. It gave the kids something they really look forward to.

Now my kids tell me who they want to have over for Friendly Friday like it's every day phraseology--catchy isn't it?

It's ok.  You can use it too. :)