I have a problem. (I think I start a lot of sentences that way)
I want to do everything.
But my problem goes beyond that.
I want to be the best at everything.
It's a stressful life because, as you all know, I am not the best at anything.
This breeds angst.
I want to be the best wife. (I'm not)
I want to be the best mom. (I'm so not)
I want to be the best trainer. (Again, not)
I want to be the best triathlete. (not)
I want to be the best tennis player. (obviously not. Even though I only started to learn tennis a little while ago, and most of my training has come from You Tube, I still have visions of grandeur. I frequently miss shots when playing against Shane because I'm caught up in a daydream of myself at Wimbledon, amazing the entire world by the fact that I'm the first stay at home mom ever to pick up tennis as a hobby and make it all the way to the finals. :) I don't know why my brain works like this, it just does.)
I want to be the best cake maker. (not)
I want to be the best listener. (ummm, Shane? yeah, I'm not)
I want to be the best dancer. (super not. Dang So You Think You Can Dance makes me really wish I could dance.)
I want to be the best sewer, blogger, friend, daughter, sister, runner, swimmer, softball player, racquetball player, singer, actor, piano player, photographer, guitar player, teacher, and on and on and on.
Many of these things I've never even tried, but I want to.
And of course if I do try them, I'll want to be the best at them.
So here's the problem, the real problem......trying to be the best at everything really zaps you.
Why can't I just pick one thing and stick with it?
Why can't I be happy just doing my best even if it's not the best?
Why can't I revel in mediocrity?
Why oh why does being "the best" matter?
7 comments:
I have so much to say to you about this that I dont know where to start and even if I did then this would be a very long comment. You are good at so many things that your talents are actually competing with eachother and besides you are one of the BEST PEOPLE I know, so there. (Livy's black comment was just hystarical, my kids thing my brother Jaren is black)Lets go to lunch or sumpin.
Oh Dixie. Come on over to my pool of mediocrity...the water's fine. :) I'll tell you what, reveling in mediocrity suits me just fine. Well, not always...occasionally I get those little visions of grandeur you talk about, but those pass as soon as I attempt to make a cake out of fondant....oh wait...never tried. Just be satisfied with the fact that you're better than me in all the things you listed (with the exception of doing hair...did you list that one?). Love YOU!!!! Even if you're not the best. :)
Holy Crap.....we're really twins. Something must have happened in heaven to mix things up and send us and oldest/youngest, but freaking days............I coulda/woulda/shoulda written every word of that post. Well, at least now I know why in the heck I am so tired.
Let me also say, you may not be the very tippy top supreme best of alllll those things you listed, but you're pretty darn close in my book sister. Really!
I knew there was a reason my "B" brain was okay! When you KNOW it's not possible to be "The Best" at anything, it's much easier to accept and be happy with "pretty-darn-good" most of the time. Sorry Dixie (and Dana), I'm afraid you got your OCD from your Dad, but then, the good thing is, you also got his brilliant brains, too.
Besides that, you guys are TOPS at anything you try to do! Wow! As your parents we stand in AWE all the time at all you do and the championlike manor in which it's done!
This post so resonates with me - I feel the same way so much of the time. Like I need to (and want to) learn how to sew and make my own bread and pasta and also have a clean and beautifully decorated house and make gourmet meals every night while going to the gym everyday and getting a rock solid bod and being awesome at yoga and pilates and being able to so eloquently describe my feelings and adventures in blog format. I don't want to settle for mediocrity but I also don't want to beat myself up or feel guilty for not doing all of the above and then some. Let me know when you figure out the answer. But I think that you are pretty amazing just as you are.
Oh geez...this explains so much. Like how come you ARE like totally the BEST cake maker in our family, and the BEST trainer in our family, and BEST triathlete, and BEST tennis player (I mean because, WHO plays tennis anyway), and BEST blogger, etc. 'Cause your brain works in SUCH a different way than mine. I love how Moms pretends to be happy in medicority, pshaw. I however have fully proven my SERIOUS SKILLZ in being happy right there in the middle. I can see how exhausting it must be to push for the best always. However, just know that I think you're pretty freaking awesome at all you do or attempt to do. You're for sure the BEST baby sister I have! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to waste a little more time NOT thinking about perfecting anything.
I know this feeling way too much. I beat myself up ALL the time for not being the best mom, wife, teacher, athlete, chef, etc. The crazy thing is you ARE the best at so many things, but you just can't see it! Crazy girl!
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