Today Olivia got a gift.
I guess it would be more accurate to say that she "almost" got a gift.
As soon as she was presented with the gift she said, "That's it? I want something more."
Oh no you didn't.
Ingratitude is highly intolerable in our home and Livy has been walking a finer and finer line when receiving things lately.
Today was the last straw.
I informed her that the gift was no longer hers.
Suddenly it seemed very important to her...like the only thing she wanted in the whole world.
She screamed and cried and then asked if she could have it.
No.
She pouted and told me she wished she was an orphan and then asked if she could have it.
No.
She told me she was sorry and then asked for it.
No.
More and more bawling ensued.
I explained to her there was a difference between being sorry because you're sorry and being sorry because you can't have something and I can tell when she's really sorry. I told her when she didn't care about whether or not she got the gift, I would know if she was really sorry.
She said, "I'm sorry. But I really, REALLY want it!" (cryyyyyyyy!!!!)
No. (I know, it's a harsh lesson. But I would so much rather her learn this earlier than later).
She told me she was "going away" (I've been waiting for this since becoming a mom! I was thinking No way! This is the day my child tells me they are going to run away. Awesome.)
She grabbed her back-pack and came in telling me angrily that she needed a pen and then headed out the door. (luckily I know Livy is WAY too much of a 'fraidy cat to go anywhere).
Sure enough, she just sat outside our front door and I'm sure contemplated things. She is very thoughtful.
She finally came back inside, pouted a little more and then told me,
"Mom, I'm sorry. I don't need the gift. But I would still like it."
I told her that was good to know, but I didn't hand it over.
I could tell she was still sort of waiting for it. But she finally was able to let go and move on.
And it's in that letting go that she earned it back.
8 comments:
hehehe...kids are all the same in some ways, aren't they? Just change the name of Livy to Tatum and then I'll post it on my blog. :) Tough lessons. And they don't always learn them on the first incident either. Sigh.
Good, good job. I swear there are too many adults out there now who didn't have wise parents to teach them this VERY important lesson! People ask me repeatedly what "secrets" I have used to raise such "good kids". Wise parents taught me lessons like this....and I believed em! Good job mom.
Way to go Dixie. I have long said that the best thing a parent can give a child is consistency. Don't let them jump on the couch one day, because the parent is too tired or distracted to notice and the next day, yell at them for jumping on the couch, for example. Being a parent is hard, and like Dana said, we see way too much evidence in the world of kids who never learned these important life lessons.
Your a good Mom. We struggle with ingratitide DAILY!
Did you get my package yet? Was it my gift that prompted this lesson? I hope the kids like the goodies - Olivia is at a hard age where I wasn't sure what she was interested in. But its nice to know that no matter what she receives, you're teaching her to be grateful. Good job! I only hope that I can be so disciplined with my kids.
OK first... darling picture of your little Livy. And second, I think you taught a wonderful thing! Great work Ma!
I have one child that threatens to run away too. It's great. And he's pretty stubborn but he also just sits outside and tells me he's waiting for strangers to steal him and then I'll be sorry. We haven't had any takers yet.
That is AWESOME!!! The hardest part is actually following through with the punishment or sticking with it. Way to stand firm! She'll thank you someday!
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