10 Years Ago Today....My Life Changed In the Best Way

I know people don't blog anymore. It's not a thing. But I needed to today.

Ten years ago today Shane and I met.

It's ridiculous that we ever met, but more than ridiculous, it's miraculous.

Here's the story.

I was recently divorced (like really really really recently divorced) and not interested in having a relationship. But I kept having a strong feeling to get on ldsplanet, a mormon dating website that I had heard some girl mention several years earlier. So random. I kept telling myself "No way! That's ridiculous!" But the feeling persisted. I finally told myself perhaps it would be good to get on just to meet people and reassure myself that all men weren't horrible. No need to actually date. I could just set up a profile, talk with some people at a safe distance, and call it good. I could say I had done my part. I even had some safe guards in place to make sure things would go just as I planned.  I was living in Utah at the time but I put my profile as being in Arizona since that is where I was moving. This way, if someone contacted me and wanted to go out I could easily say, "Oh darn, I'm actually in Utah. Maybe once I move to AZ."

Brilliant, Dixie! Brilliant.

So on to the website I went, carefully setting up my profile to reflect exactly what I wanted.  Everything was going just as planned. I was contacted by several people in Arizona and I quickly let them know I was in Utah, so sorry, can't meet you in person.

But then...THEN...this crazy guy named "vballplayer" from Utah contacted me. What?! How did he know I was in Utah? I was immediately suspicious and it freaked me out.

I approached the situation carefully, trying to figure out what he knew. As it turns out he had no idea I was in Utah. He was simply looking at going to ASU for a PhD and wanted to see what the singles scene down there was like. That's when he stumbled upon my "Arizona" profile.

Weird.

But then, things got more weird. There was a glitch in the website system and for some reason my profile picture wouldn't stay up. It was literally only up for about 2 hours on the website. Just enough time for "vballplayer" to find me and start a little back and forth conversation. He invited me to play raquetball and I quickly turned him down. "Sorry. Way too busy getting ready to move to AZ."

He persisted.

The next day he instant messaged me and asked me several times in that conversation if we could get together.

No, I quickly replied.

But as the conversation went on, and I found out his name was Shane and he found out my name was Dixie and I found out his last name was Dixon (wha?!) and we found out we really liked talking to each other, I finally agreed to meet him.

He was shocked.

 So was I.

What was I thinking?!

I made sure he knew I was only meeting him to rule him out. I wanted to be able to move to Arizona with a clear conscience, knowing I hadn't left any possibilities behind. How's that for romantic?

I had 3 very small kids at the time...4, 3 and 1. Time was a precious commodity for me and I had one hour on a tuesday that I could sacrifice to meet him. He was teaching at an English school in Provo so we met there.

I met him in the parking lot as he was talking to a student and he tried to hug me (awkward, I'm not a hug-you-the-first-time-I-meet-you kind of person). He told me later he felt so stupid and immediately wanted to take it back, but you can't un-hug someone, so things started off awkward.  Perfect! Just as I had hoped. After a quick tour of his school we went to Kneaders and he ate and talked while I smiled and nodded nervously.

Seriously, what was I thinking?

But the more he talked the more I liked him. Usually it works in the opposite direction for me. It was a fun little hour and I didn't quite know what to think other than I felt foiled because I didn't feel like I could rule him out. He called me later to ask how I felt it went. I can clearly remember having 3 kids trying to climb on me and play with me while trying to have this conversation with him. It was tricky. In the conversation he assured me he likes to take things slow and that he didn't believe in falling in love in a week and all that jazz that crazy Mormons do. After all, you can't be a 33 year old bachelor in Provo with crazy notions like that. I told him that sounded great and that I hadn't quite been able to rule him out so we set a date for Friday.

We went out on Friday and I came home that night and knew this was it.

He was it.

How could I know? This was crazy! I felt so calm and so sure and I just knew. I felt like I had known Shane forever. There was something so familiar about him. It all just made sense. How was that possible? But I wasn't about to tell him...he didn't believe in this "falling in love in a week bit".

We saw each other the next night, and the next, and probably the next. Exactly a week from the first day we met in person I woke up to find an email from Shane. One of the cutest things I have ever read. It turns out he can fall in love in a week. 💗I told him it took even less time for me.

I had planned to move to AZ on November 1st, but after a strong feeling came to me, multiple times, I had pushed it back to November 16th. It couldn't be because of this guy, could it?

Yes, most definitely yes.

I still can't believe we found each other and less than 6 months later we were married.

No it hasn't always been easy.

No it isn't always bliss.

But yes it is, and always has been, right.

From IVF to Real Live Baby….

It's hard to believe that less than a year ago Trace looked like this: 

Literally.

That is Trace in embryo form and it still blows my mind.

I am so grateful for ARMS (our fertility clinic) for all they did to get us our sweet little baby.

It was a rough ROUGH pregnancy, but I made it through.

Barely.

On Saturday, February 15th, four days after my due date, I was starting to get desperate.  

Really desperate.

I had become completely irrational too.

I cried every day I was overdue and by the end of it I was saying things to Shane like, 

 "What if he never comes out?" and "What if I don't like my baby?"

Craziness.

I started having contractions in the evening, but they were just like ones I'd been having for weeks. But this time they didn't go away…so that was encouraging.

We went to bed around midnight and at 1:30am I woke up to a semi-painful contraction.  Then again at 1:45am and 1:55am.  At that point I tapped Shane and said the words I'd been waiting to say for 9 months and 5 days…."I'm in labor."

"So it's Go Time?!" were the first words out of his mouth.

Yep.

Since I had decided to deliver Trace naturally (no epidural or any other drugs) I wanted to labor at home as long as possible. This was my first time delivering without an epidural and I was a little nervous about it, but when my labor started I felt really calm.

I decided to get in a hot bath and Shane read to me from Jim Gaffigan's book "Dad Is Fat". It was really funny and strangely appropriate because he talks a lot about childbirth and parenting.

Whenever I'd have contractions I'd hit my contraction timer on my phone and Shane would talk me through it. When it was done he'd resume reading.

After about 2 hours my contractions suddenly jumped to being right on top of each other, 2-3 minutes apart, and started to get more painful.  I knew it was time to go.

I had one really painful contraction in the car on the way there, but I really felt like all our hypnobirthing prep had me ready, and I was able to breathe through everything pretty well.

We got to the hospital just after 4am.

When they checked me I was at a 7 and the nurse was surprised.

Right after that I had another pretty painful contraction and threw up a bunch…not fun, but honestly, the pain of throwing up kind of took away from the pain of the contraction so I didn't mind it too much.

They transferred me to labor and delivery and I told my nurse, Mindy, that I was doing this without an epidural. She said she liked it when her patients delivered naturally and that calmed me down a lot to know I had a nurse that was cool with it.

As it turns out, Mindy was AWESOME! I couldn't have asked for a better nurse to help me deliver.

She checked me not long after we got in the room and I was already at an 8. She was really encouraging and told me how great I was doing and that she would never have guessed that this was my first natural birth. She suggested that if they broke my water it would probably speed things along a bit, but the contractions would probably be a little harder. I debated about whether I should do it or not and decided to go ahead and have them do it.

Meanwhile…all this time I'm having contractions and throwing up continually.

As soon as the doctor broke my water I was at a 10. Now that WAS fast!

I just remember thinking, "That's it? I'm already through labor? I thought it would hurt a lot more than that. I was ready for a lot longer and more pain." 

While I was glad that I was through it and ready to push, part of me felt like I had cheated somehow.

When they told me it was time to push I told them I didn't have that "urge" to push that everyone talks about. I didn't feel like pushing at all in fact.  

They had me try anyway.

So with the next contraction I started to push, and I sounded like Monica Seles. 

It was bugging me, but I couldn't not make noise trying to push the baby out.

I was exhausted!

I was pushing and pushing and…nothing.

All my epidural babies came out in one to two pushes, I didn't understand why this baby wouldn't come out but I was starting to panic.

After a lot of pushing and still no baby and thinking I couldn't possibly push one more time I had the thought, "Maybe I can get a C-section right now." I knew it was a crazy thought, but I didn't know how the baby was ever going to come out of me because I was just too tired to push.

I asked, "How many more pushes? I can't keep doing this."

Mindy said, "Well, that depends on the push. It could be one, it could be a lot more."

As soon as she said that that was all I needed to hear. I needed to know it was possible to get him out in one more push. So I asked her to explain to me again what I needed to do. I listened intently and then on the next contraction I gave it everything I had. My eyes were closed and everyone started saying, "Open your eyes! Look! His head is out!!"

I looked and saw my baby half way out and the doctor trying to get his shoulder out. Having him half way out gave me a whole new boost of energy to push him the rest of the way out….and I did.

Dr. Tutt said I did an hours worth of pushing in one push.

Trace came flying out like Superman with both arms out in front of him.

He was born at 6:40am on February 16, 2014.

He weighed 8 lbs. 11 oz. and was 21 inches long.

We fell in love right away.

My two biggest fears didn't come true:

1. He DID come out of me.

2. I DO like him after all. 

Phew.

Trace Richard Dixon

He's perfection.

P.S. If I had it to do over I would definitely deliver naturally again. I loved the whole experience! It was so exciting to be a real part of the process. With epidurals I always felt kind of like a bystander. This was so much better.  And I have to say my recovery has been even better as well. I'm so glad I took the time to prepare for this birth and did it.  It was awesome.

It's True….I Get Fat.

While I know that many people are excited for my pregnancy because it will yield a baby, I also know that a lot of people are also just excited to see me get fat.

You know it's true.

Well, you will not be disappointed. I do get pretty fat when I get pregnant.

I gain at least 50 pounds and my face looks like it might want to pop.

I have no sort of pregnancy "glow", more like pregnancy hideousness.

Just the other day we were watching an old video in which I was 8 months pregnant with Olivia. Owen shouted out, "Why were you so FAT?!" I tried to explain that it was because I was carrying another human inside my body, but he didn't think that was a good enough reason.

I explained to him that I would be getting fat again and asked him if he would still love me. "Yes," he said, "but it will be really hard."

Rude.

Want to know why I get so fat when I'm pregnant?

Because I eat like a maniac.

I want to eat everything in sight in the hopes that it will make my nausea go away.

It's a problem…and it doesn't usually work.

But I keep trying.

As I was shoving Snickers mini's down my throat, one right after the other a few days ago, Shane just watched in fascination. "This is so weird to see you like this," he said. But I'm sure what he was thinking was, "Oh my gosh, what have I gotten myself into?!?!?!"

Oh honey, it's only just begun.

Once Upon A Time….Our Story of IVF

So here's a little story.

It goes like this.

When Shane and I were dating he told me, on like our 2nd date, that he would not be able to have kids due to a medical condition.

I told him no biggie. I've got three, that should cover us.

And I convinced myself that we were done!

But every time I'd hear about a friend that was pregnant or see a new little baby my heart ached a bit.  I didn't dwell on it too much because I was happy with the life and children I had, but there was this twinge I couldn't quite ignore.

Shane and I talked about it. A lot. But we just didn't feel right about pursuing any avenues (this was about 2 years ago).

Then, a little over a year ago, I just couldn't stop thinking about it and we started pursuing IVF. We knew that was most likely the only way we would be able to conceive.

I started researching clinics, calling around for prices, and trying to get ready for it.

My sister-in-law, Natalie, told me a bit about the IVF process since she had gone through it, and I just realized there was no way I was emotionally ready to go through it at that time.

Shane and I were driving to the temple one day and I was really nervous to tell him that there was no way I could move forward with the process, but I did.  I just took a deep breath and said, "Something doesn't feel right about it to me. I don't know what or why, but I don't feel right."

He told me he was sad, but that he actually agreed.

But I STILL couldn't stop thinking about having a baby.

Drove me CRAZY!

I was thinking, "Hey…I already prayed about this and accepted that for some reason it's not right, so why do I still keep feeling this?"

Every month I would secretly hope that maybe I'd be pregnant by some miracle.

Never happened.

Then in February of this year I babysat my sister's little girl Mayzie for 5 days. Please note, she is one of the cutest babies ever. I should have known she was about to change the course of my life.

When she left my house it felt empty and I just felt like I was missing somebody.

Shane did too.

It was really weird.

I made some comment on Facebook about wanting another baby to which my Dad responded he was all for. I jokingly asked if he'd like to contribute to an IVF fund and he said, "Give me a number."

I immediately emailed him to see if he was serious.

He was.

When we said we wanted to do IVF we had several other very generous, unsolicited, donors including Shane's parents, his grandmother, and Merril (my ex-husband's father). I know that sounds crazy, but we kind of have an awesome relationship. :)

We could not believe it.  We were blown away. And suddenly all lights were green!

The week after we watched Mayzie I found a seminar at the hospital right by us with an IVF clinic that looked really good.  It was called ARMS…Arizona Reproductive Medicine Specialists.

We got there a little late and by happenstance as everyone else went in to listen to the general information seminar, we stayed back and got to sit at a table with one of the doctors and get a personal one on one consultation for nearly an hour asking him every question we ever wanted. (and with IVF, trust me, there are LOTS of questions).

He scheduled us an appointment for that Monday for an official consultation.

I'm so glad he did. We found out there that the medicine Shane was on for low testosterone, Androgel, actually acts like a birth control for men. His urologist had said it could possibly help with us trying to get pregnant. Our fertility doctor wanted to know his name because he basically said he shouldn't be practicing medicine.  Yikes!

Anyway, he told us Shane's numbers would probably be at zero.

They were.

He said it would take about 1-3 months to get those numbers back.

It took 2, and then we were ready to roll.

I started shots on May 11th.  Lots of them. :)

My egg retrieval was done on May 21st and yielded 20 eggs.

They called me the next day to say that 10 had fertilized.

By the time I got to my embryo transfer only 2 embryos were ready, so they transferred them both. That was on May 26th with day 5 blastocysts. (sorry, just some IVF lingo for ya).

4 more embryos did make it to blastocyst and were/are frozen.

And then I waited, and waited, and WAITED to find out if they took. Talk about a torturous week and two days. Not fun.

I still don't know if one or both took, but I did get the call today that I'm pregnant.

I will find out in 2 weeks if it's one baby or two.

It's been a long crazy journey, this IVF thing. It's definitely not for the faint of heart.

Every woman who has gone through this process deserves a medal.

It is rough.

We broke every convention about "waiting to tell" about the pregnancy because my children were nigh unto bursting they were so excited and I couldn't have them hold it in any longer. We only told them about 2 weeks ago and waiting to tell has nearly killed them.

So there's our story…up to this point.

Of course this is really just the beginning of the story.

We can't wait to see what lies ahead...

De-Pantsing the Issue...

Ok, so I may be a bit late to this conversation, but I'm going to say something nonetheless.  Besides that, it's not like Feminism is going away any time soon.

It's about this "wearing pants to church" bit.

Started by Mormon Child Bride with this post I believe:
http://mormonchildbride.blogspot.com/2012/12/the-dignity-of-your-womanhood.html

If you don't want to read it, it's a whole lot of malarkey about women's suffrage through the ages and how you can't just talk about the issues, you've got to DO something…like chain yourself to the White House gates. OR…wear pants to church. (I don't think she actually presents the idea in this post, it was just the beginning of her idea).

Then I ran across this blog post by C. Jane Kendrick (sister of Stephanie Nielson who authors the blog nieniedialogues.com): http://www.cjanekendrick.com/2012/12/proving-myself.html

She's latched on to this idea of wearing pants to church as something really important to do.

Honestly, when I read this post I was so embarrassed for her and for Mormon women in general who have adopted this kind of thinking.

Really, it's embarrassing and childish…which makes sense that this "movement" was started by Mormon Child Bride. Perhaps she should grow up a bit before she puts on her big girl pants.

All I could think over and over again was PLEASE, get out of Utah so you can gain some perspective.

Just out of curiosity I decided to check out C. Jane's sisters' blog to see what she was writing about on the same day that C. Jane was "Proving" herself.  It was a twelve year summary about her beautiful life as a mother and being married to her husband. Not even the remotest mention of "pants".

Why not? Because she knows what matters.

 In the post she wrote the day before this she said:

FYI:
I am perfectly happy and content with my role as woman
and mother in the Mormon faith. I feel fulfilled and loved.
I believe if we have a personal relationship
with God and the Savior, Jesus Christ
and we feel confident in his love for us we don't need prove anything to anyone.
This is what I am going to adamantly teach my girls.

Amen.

Surely this was a response to all the feminist hubbub going on around her and I don't think she could have said it better.

Ironically her sisters title post the next day was "Proving Myself".

Why does one sister feel so content and happy with her role while the other feels it necessary to "prove [her]self"?

Getting angry with the Mormon church for "inequality" is downright stupid. 

Women who are truly paying attention to the things that matter will find no other church where they are more loved and respected than in this church. 

You're fighting against the wrong thing.

Hope for a better world….

After September 11th I remember thinking, "How could I ever EVER bring a child into this world? It is full of awful, scary, horrific people."

6 months later I was pregnant with my first child.

And then I had two more.

After the bombings at the Boston Marathon on Monday, I was reminded of my September 11th feelings.

This world is full of psychos and I've got three children IN it.  How can I ever keep them safe?

And then it hit me.

I can't.

I can't make sure that they don't get bullied at school.

I can't make sure that they don't get in a car accident.

I can't make sure that they don't get killed by a bomb while waiting at a finish line.

All I can do is teach them to be good.

I can teach them to think of others.

I can teach them the value of a human life.

I can teach them the blessing of being able to work.

I can teach them to feel gratitude for what they have and who they are.

I can teach them to love and to be loved.

I can teach them….to be good.

And then I thought, "I sure hope all the good people keep having babies. We need as much good in this world as we can get."

I'm working every day to make sure these three help this world to be a better place….

…They are my hope.

5 Years and Counting….

Five years ago today I married this guy.

Everything I wrote in that post in 2008 still stands…five years later.

Yep, even the nightly back rubs.

And as that post suggested, he does just keep getting better with age.

How I got so lucky to find "a Shane" I do not know, I'm just so so grateful.

He loves me for who I am, respects me for what I believe, and appreciates me for what I do.

The other night as we were drifting off to sleep he told me, "You're the perfect girl for me." And then he recounted all the reasons why.

Then he told me how, when he thinks about his life before me, it just seems silly and pointless.

I smiled from ear to ear in the dark.

I thought it was cute that he thought he was the lucky one because I knew the truth….

I'm the lucky one.

Round Two…the final round.

Last post on this, I swear.

This time expressing my views, not just that I would like to be able to have them without others getting angry. (which apparently I can't). :)

These are my actual views.

I know….double suicide.

But last night Shane and I were talking and he said, "Do you think it's inevitable that gay marriage is going to happen?"

I said, "Well, if I say nothing because I believe it's inevitable then it's definitely inevitable."

To my conservative friends:  Stand up for what you believe. If you don't know what you believe, figure it out. If you believe something but don't know why, figure it out. But don't allow liberal bullies to kowtow you into silence.

I am not a homophobe.

I am not a hater.

I am not a bigot.

I would never say or do anything mean or cruel to someone because of their sexual orientation.

I have gay friends.

I tend to think people are made up of more than just their sexuality. I don't like people because they are gay or because they aren't gay.  I like them because they are funny, or smart, or kind, or talented, or any number of different things. I would hate to think people like me or don't like me because I'm straight.

So when I say I'm against gay marriage you can't tell me that it's because of any of the above reasons.

It is also NOT because my church says I have to believe this way or because I think being a "good mormon" means I don't support it.

I have my own brain and I use it.

Recently I stumbled upon an article written by a Libertarian who neither supports or opposes gay marriage. She actually refuses to have an opinion on it.  But she brilliantly describes the social implications of allowing gay marriage into our society.

It's long. Really long. But if you are going to have a public opinion of gay marriage (for or against) you should read this in its entirety.  No really. If you're gonna open your mouth in public to support it or oppose it, you need to know what you're really supporting or opposing.  This is it.
(hint: it has nothing to do with equality).

http://fireflydove.wordpress.com/2009/10/12/a-libertarian-view-of-gay-marriage/

If you are for gay marriage because you think this is about equal rights, read the article.

If you are for gay marriage because you want to be PC, read the article.

If you are for gay marriage because you think it is the most kind and accepting thing to do, read the article.

If you are for gay marriage because you don't want to stand in anybody's way of what they want to do, read the article.

If you are for gay marriage because you think it doesn't really affect you, read the article.

If you are for gay marriage and you don't want to/won't read the article because you already know how things should be…you make me nervous.

I am not smarter than God.

I am not smarter than history.

Both of these demand marriage to be between a man and a woman. (if you don't believe in the one, then certainly you have to believe in the other.)

There is a reason history repeats itself.  People think they are smarter and more progressive than their foolish parents of yesteryear.

There's sort of a pattern people.  (read the article)

You should pay attention to it.   (read the article)

And if you want to tell me I'm a bigot or a jerk or a hater, just make sure you read the whole article first.

Everything she writes is the reason I believe what I believe and none of it is hateful.

The question is: Are you willing to flippantly mess with a fundamental foundation of society* because you think it would be "nice"?

For me the answer is no.



*not just our society, but any society that has ever worked

Oh yeah, I'm going there….

I didn't want to have to do this.

But I feel like I need to.

I'm gonna address the "equal rights" issue.

I know…suicide.

But I just gotta.

So this is the way I am perceiving society's view of things:

If you believe in gay marriage you are kind, loving, accepting, progressive, openminded, etc. You clearly understand the meaning of love and charity more than others. You are a good person.

If you don't believe in gay marriage you are a bigot, selfish, a hater, homophobic and imposing of your beliefs on others. You are so dumb that you can't even see that others should get the same rights that you get.  It's so clear, why don't you get it?

I could be totally off with my perceptions, but from the conversations I've had and seen and read, this is pretty accurate.

So, now on to my thoughts.  I know that you're dying to hear them.

When the subject of gay marriage first came out I thought, "I don't really care. Let them get married if they want to." But as the subject has not gone away (and is not going away any time soon) and I've had to figure out what I really believe and why, I realized this:

 I have no right to tell someone who they should or shouldn't marry.

Lest you misunderstand me, let me also state that you have no right to tell someone who they should or shouldn't marry.

Marriage is ordained of God.
And, since God is the one who is in charge, He sets the rules.
He happens to say marriage is between a man and a woman.  (research: scriptures)
God says that, not me.

I know that not everybody believes in God, but I do.

So when I say I am against gay marriage, it's not because I don't want someone to be happy or because I think I'm smarter or better or more righteous or anything. If anything my heart hurts for those having to deal with this.  I hate it and I wish nobody had to deal with this issue.  (and not in a "pity" kind of way, so don't get angry at me for that).

When I say I'm not for gay marriage it's because I answer to someone higher than my Facebook Friends.

I answer to God.

So if I disagree with you please respect that. I am following what I truly believe is right in my heart.  If you believe that supporting gay marriage is truly right in your heart, by all means follow that.

You should never ignore your conscience.

Please don't ask me to ignore mine.

Who's On Your Team?

The other day Shane shared with me an article on a talk given by Mitt Romney at BYU. I can't remember the details but essentially the talk was on core values. When Mitt had formed his company with several other men they found themselves at each others throats because they all wanted different things out of the company. They met with a business psychologist who talked them through their issues and at the end of the week told them this: When you are living out of sink with your core values you will be more stressed and unhappy and unfulfilled, no matter what your success, than if you live in sink with your core values.  "So how do we figure out what our core values are?" they wanted to know. Pick the 5 people you most admire in life and look at their values. This is how you'll know what your core values are.

I told Shane that this exercise is always boring because inevitably everyone has the same answers: Jesus Christ, Prophets, Abe Lincoln, Parents, Spouses…with maybe some small variation of that.  So he said, "Okay. Let's make it more interesting. Who'd be on your team if we rule out family and religious leaders?"

Now THAT is more interesting and a lot harder to do.  We spent the next hour picking our "team". When we picked someone we had to say why we picked them and what value they represented to us that we wanted to achieve.  So….here's my team.

Dieter F. Uchtdorf-- Okay, I know we made a rule of no religious leaders. But we both agreed to allow ONE apostle.  President Uchtdorf was my easy and obvious choice. His ability to speak to the heart of women is incredible to me. He has such a great sense of humor and love of life, while at the same time he can really drive home the importance of a certain principle. Pretty much all of my favorite conference talks of the last 4 years are from him. He rules and he was the first pick on my team.

Mitt Romney-- My second pick. I know it's ironic that it was his article that led us to talk about this, but I really wanted him on my team. His ability to lead and organize on a large scale is something I really admire. I also love that he didn't back down from being Mormon throughout his campaign, despite that massive amounts of pressure that were put on him. I also believe, without a shadow of a doubt, that he only ran for President because he knew he could help our country. Not because he wanted fame or laud or honor…he just wanted to help. To me that is incredible. There are so many stories I've heard about him, through the grapevine, of quiet kindness and goodness. I also love how faithful and devoted he is to his wife. He's just a good man.

Stephanie Nielsen-- My third pick. I was really happy with this pick. She is such an amazing example of overcoming adversity. But I think more than that, I really relate to the way she is as a mother. The value and importance she puts on her kids and on her role as a mom really speak to me. She sees the joy in the little details of motherhood and I'm grateful for her reminders of that. I am also impressed with her as a missionary. She has taken every opportunity she can to share the gospel and I love that. She is truly an amazing woman.

Merie Kamerer-- My fourth pick. Merie is the Relief Society president in our ward. And she works endlessly for the women in our area. But that is not why she is on my list. Merie is one of the most genuinely kind and caring people I have ever known. There is a story that will forever stand out in my mind to illustrate this truth. Last summer Owen was on a "selling" kick. Early in the morning, before swim team, he would drag a table outside and set up his sale. He was selling pictures for awhile. $1 per picture. Sweet Merie, unsuspectingly, came running around our block on her morning jog and came across Owen's sale. It was about this time that I happened to glance out the window. There Owen was, standing tall and explaining each picture to her and Merie was listening intently. I could tell from across the street she made Owen feel important, like what he was doing had value. She ran home to get money. And then she tried to run past Owen for like a month after that, just to see if he had another "sale" set up. I was thinking how I'd be avoiding that route if I were her, and here she was trying specifically to run past him. I hope to have such goodness some day.

Mike Oliver-- Last of all is Mike Oliver, the principle of my kids' school. Anybody that knows this school and how it is run knows that he is unique in his approach. And they also know that this uniqueness is what makes their school the amazing place it is. Mike is respectful of everyone…from the best teachers, to the smallest kindergartner, to the janitor, to the crossing guards. He treats them all with the utmost respect. He exudes happiness and love of life. He takes his job of watching out for our kids quite seriously and values parents and students alike. He constantly shows his appreciation to parents for entrusting him with their children and you always feel valued and welcomed in the school. His attitude is always so positive and the entire tone of the school is set in the right direction by him. I try to adopt his philosophies and policies with my swim team. I can't imagine taking my kids anywhere else.

So there's my team. I guess if I had to break down each person into a core value it might look something like this:

Uchtdorf- Understanding
Romney- Honorable
Nielsen- Displays the Divinity of Motherhood
Kamerer- Genuine Goodness
Oliver- Leads with Love

Here was Shane's list--
Jeffery R. Holland
Robert Krogh (an old mission companion)
Ronald Regan
Tea Cup (fictional character from "Their Eyes Were Watching God")
Merril Dayton (my ex-husbands dad…how awesome is that!)

It was a really fun conversation and took a lot of thought, but it was worth it. I think it's important to figure out what you value and why and try to align your life with your core values so you are living in sink.

So…who would be on your team?

Oh NO! Mr. Peeps!

Yesterday I was in my room and Livy came running in, in a panic.

"MOM! Mr. Peeps fell. Morgan accidentally knocked him over."

You see, our Mr. Peeps (elf on the shelf) is different than other people's.  He looks like Santa and is made of wood and is not allowed to be touched.  If you touch him…he goes away.

So I rushed in to find Morgan bawling, Owen standing in awe, and Mr. Peeps face down on the couch.

It looked like a crime scene….albeit a hilarious one.

Morgan was certain she had killed him.

I ushered the kids out and told them I needed to help Mr. Peeps up.  Morgan went back into her room wailing.  Really, you would have thought Jersey had died or something.  I "helped" Mr. Peeps up onto the shelf where he felt safer and explained that to the kids.

No matter how many times I told Morgan he was okay and that he wasn't going to go away (I think that was her fear) and that Mr. Peeps knew it was an accident, she would not stop crying.  It took a good 10 minutes for her to calm down and realize all was well.

Yikes.

Halloween 2012

Halloween.

It's come and gone.

I always like November 1st.

There are plenty of things I don't like about Halloween. 

But lots that I do.

I love the weather.

I love the sense of community with everyone out and about.

And I love how excited my kids get about their costumes.

Morgan wanted to be "Midget Joe" this year (a Dayton Family folklore character), but when I came home from the store with things for the other kids' costumes and explained they don't have "Midget Joe" paraphenalia at the store she was disappointed.  I told her they do have a devil costume or a cat costume, and she got very excited and wanted to switch to a devil right away.

Livy of course helped her put her "outfit" together as Morgan explained she wanted to be a "cute" devil.  And then she proceeded to tell me through the evening about other devil costumes she saw that "didn't even look like devils."  Clearly she is the real deal and they are not. (I must say, this costume is fitting for her at this stage in her life.  Hard, hard, hard this one has been!)

I think Owen rocked the Werewolf costume pretty well.  He really likes to stay in character when he wears a costume. :)  He didn't even recognize himself when he looked in the mirror.  It freaked him out a little bit.

Olivia's number one goal every Halloween is to scare her cousin Tatum.  She can't wait to get her make up on and look scary so she can run over and freak Tatum out.  As we get ready she devises all kinds of plans to sneak into Tatum's room and scare the heck out of her.  She doesn't ever carry them out, she just likes to talk about them.  She couldn't really talk with her teeth in and her jaw started hurting from holding them in all night.  But she would not take them out…it would "ruin her costume."  So committed that one.

Ready for Trick of Treating.

Everyone in character?  Good.

Dividing up the spoils.

Until next year…..

Totally Gross Party...

Owen turned 8 on Thursday.

Today we had his "Totally Gross Birthday Party".

And it was….totally gross.

They grabbed gummy worms at the bottom of whip cream…using only their mouth:

Morgan actually won this one.

Who doesn't want to shove their face into whip cream?

They pulled body parts out of "brains".

They grabbed marbles out of ice water with their toes.

They smelled baby food in diapers.

They ate baby food too. (well, some of them did)

They searched for cockroaches in "barf". (this one made me want to barf)

They had a grand old time.

And then we had cake….

 A TOTALLY GROSS cake.

It makes me nauseous just looking at it, even though I know it's made of yummy things.

Making a wish.

I gave everyone matching T-shirts that said, "That was TOTALLY GROSS!" on them.

Crazy kids. :)

And then it was over and I realized once again….

This boy is growing up.

Oh how I love him. :)

The Case of the Broken Violin...

Everyone loves a good mystery right.

Especially at our house.

My kids love to sleuth things out.

So a few days ago Olivia opened her violin and I heard a scream from the other room.

I thought she might have broken her leg or something.

Instead she had opened her case to find her violin looking like this:

Since we had just been gone on Fall Break for a week it seemed very strange that it just broke sitting in it's case.

The kids started sleuthing right away. (okay, and me too!)

Immediately they thought of Crew and Dane…3 houses away. Boys who love to be destructive.

Olivia was certain it was one of them.

Shane told her several times he didn't think that was possible because Crew wouldn't really be capable of zipping the case back up after breaking it and Dane just probably wouldn't.

We continued to think of possibilities and then Morgan, in her very sure way, told us all what had really happened.

"It was Jersey"…the dog.

"How do you know?"

"Because I looked her in the eyes and she looked back at me with sad eyes….and then she licked me four times."

Well, I don't think there's ever been a more clear-cut case.

It was the dog!

Snoring vs. The Jiggly Leg

I sort of wondered if Shane's Jiggly Leg would go away when he got his new knee.

The answer is no, it didn't. :(

At 3:38 am it was in full swing again.

Jiggle-jiggle-jiggle.

Aghhhhhhh!

It gives me anxiety because I can't stop counting between jiggles.

It will shake the whole bed and then I start counting, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5…." and I just wonder if it will be right on the same jiggly schedule every time.

It generally is.

At 3:40 I lovingly reached over to him, put my leg on his jiggly leg and put my hand on his chest to get his attention.  Then I whispered, "I love you, but I'm going to have to cut off your leg."

He said sorry and rolled over.

Then I sat there wondering if I would prefer snoring over the jiggly leg.

Which would be better?

I finally settled on the jiggly leg because it's quieter and it's attached to a really cute guy.

…And then I went back to sleep.

(*You'll be pleased to note that Shane's leg is still intact as well.)

The Champion

You probably think I'm writing about a person.

I'm not.

I'm writing about our toilet.

It's called The Champion.

About a year ago we replaced the toilets in our house because the ones that were here when we moved in were gross.  Shane said, "If we're going to get new toilets let's get really good ones."

So we went to Home Depot and said, "Give us your best toilet."

That is where we got The Champion (it is literally called that on the box).

It touted being able to flush an entire bucket of golf balls at once!

I'm not sure if it can really do that, I've never tried, but it can get my 9-year old nieces doo-doo down without clogging, which is more than I can say for our other toilets.

But all of this is neither here nor there, my point in talking about The Champion is its height.

It is a "chair height" toilet.

This means a couple of things.

One, my feet can't be flat on the ground when I sit on it.

I hate that.

I feel like a five year old with my tippy-toes touching the ground.

But number two, this is what I hate most of all, I have gotten used to this "chair height" so when I go to sit on any other toilet there is a millisecond of panic that shoots through me thinking that somehow the toilet I was about to sit on disappeared because my backside should have hit it by now.

Then I am rudely jarred out of this panic because I hit the toilet harder than a person normally should.

It's not pleasant.

And I'm thinking that The Champion isn't such a champion after all.

Too much information?

Oh well.

Taking Over the World… :)

What's up Zaharis?

That would be ONE...

TWO...

THREE! 

That's right….All three of my awesome kids got selected to student council as their class representatives.

It all went down exactly as I would expect.

Olivia wrote reminders to herself about writing a speech.  

She thought about it and wrote out what she felt was important.  

She wanted to let her class know she would represent them well.

She delivered her speech with confidence.

She won by a landslide.

Owen decided the night before that he'd like to run.

Olivia wrote his speech for him.

Olivia made him practice his speech several times.

Olivia chided him the morning of his speech for wearing sports shorts instead of looking nicer.

Owen reluctantly changed his clothes to appease his sister.

He won--I'm guessing by a landslide.

Morgan didn't write a speech.

Morgan simply raised her hand and said she'd be interested in doing it.

Every other girl in the class raised their hand and said, "I vote for Morgan."

She won--by a landslide of girl votes.

All three of them did this on their own.

"Why do you think people voted for you?"  I asked each of them.

Olivia: "Because I get good grades."

Owen: "Because I have good actions."

Morgan: "Because I'm really nice and everyone loves to play with me."

Morgan is never shy about her awesomeness. :)

Congrats to my babies!

Represent.

President Scar...

Every time I hear Obama speak and look at what he has done to our country while in office I can't help but see in my mind Scar from the Lion King promising all the Hyena's as much food as they want.

It sounds so good!

Who doesn't want food you don't have to work for and the ability to be lazy and do whatever you feel like while someone else takes care of you?

We all deserve that, right?

The only problem is... that doesn't work.

Before long the food runs out and all you have are a bunch of fat hyena's (soon to be starving) complaining that nobody is taking care of them.

I know Obama tells people what they like to hear but he has shown us over the past four years that, just like Scar, he can't change the "circle of life".

It is what it is.

The "something for nothing" philosophy can never work and before long we will all be paying for it one way or another.  (and we already are)

There has to be wisdom and order and Barak Obama simply doesn't understand that, which means he does not understand how to run a country.

Clearly.



"I don't want to live in a country where everything is free but us." --Paul Ryan

Hey Shorty, It's Your Birthday!

My baby turns 6 today!

This year I went with a turtle theme because they have tortoises at Zaharis and you can buy baby tortoises for $40.  Morgan REALLY wanted one.

Dane got one.

But I said no.

I know, I'm mean.

But to show her I really love her lots we got her as many turtle things as we could.

I made her a turtle cake.

And decorated all festive like. 

She liked it.

A lot.

And she liked her new turtle friend "Fluffy".  I told her he's way easier to cuddle than a live tortoise. :)

Morgan is one of the funniest, spunkiest, most confident little girls I know.  She makes me smile every day.

The other day I was recounting stories of Olivia when she was a baby.  I had tons of them.

Morgan kept saying, "Tell one about me.  What did I do?"

I felt horrible because I could hardly think of anything.  Morgan was a baby at the hardest time in my life and my brain simply didn't store a lot of her baby-hood.  I do remember she was an amazingly good baby, she drooled a lot, she would never take a bottle (just mama), and she always made me smile.

There are plenty of things I remember about her now.  Like her uncanny ability to make up the perfect names for animals (Livy will even ask her to name things she gets because her names are always so cute).

She also makes up words and just incorporates them into her daily language.  We have to know how to speak Morgan around here.  For example, about 2 years ago, when she was either 3 or just barely 4 she told me she needed to go "Flickey".

"Flickey?  What's that?" I asked.

"That's when you have to go pee AND poop."  She had fully created the word, had a definition for it, and used it like we all knew it.  And she still uses it…well, we all use it now.

Just yesterday she created another word.  When I picked her up from gymnastics she exhaled all tired like and said,

"Whew. Well that was just piff!"

"Piff?" I asked again, "What's piff?"

"You know, when something's really hard or tiring."

Oh well of course, silly me.  Who hasn't had a day that was just piff?

She continues to be obsessed with animals.  She's gone from wanting to be an animal when she grows up to wanting to train them or own a pet store.  The latest thing she's told me she wants to do is teach animals how to swim…most especially "mouses".

She's smart, logical…very logical, straightforward, happy, and goofy.  Not many people really know Morgan because she doesn't open up for just anyone.  She's quite selective.  But once you're in her inner circle she is very loyal.

We sure love this girl and I feel very lucky to be her mom.