Thursday, July 21, 2011

Avert Your Eyes...

My kids almost never see me without make-up on.

I'm one of those people that get ready and wear make-up every day.

I don't wash my face at night. (gasp! I know, no need to tell me how horrible this is, but it's not going to change the fact that I don't and I won't.  I used to and it didn't work out for me, so I don't.)


I wash it in the shower after I've worked out in the morning and then I get ready immediately.  If they come ask me a question or something in that period of time they will see me, but other than that, not really.

But I never, and I mean NEVER, go about my day without some form of make-up on...especially eye make-up.  There's just something glorious about putting black stuff all around my eyes. :)

Today, however, I had showered a little later than normal and I needed to get lunch ready for the kids.  So I just threw my clothes on after the shower and pulled my hair back and came out WITHOUT MAKE-UP ON!  I know, can you believe it.

Nobody said anything and all seemed to be going fine.  But I did get the distinct impression that Owen was sort of avoiding me.

After about 20 minutes or so I had the food ready and called Owen over to come eat.

As he sat down he said as politely as he could, "Mom, I like it when you have your make-up on." He made eye contact with me for about point five seconds and then quickly glanced down at his macaroni and cheese because looking at me was just too scary.  Seriously, he AVERTED HIS EYES!!!!

I know son, I am a hideous creature without make-up on.  I am sorry you had to witness this.

When I tell people this they never believe me, but I really am one of those people that you don't know how they can look so different with or without make-up.  It's kind of crazy.  I would post a picture but you'd never look at me the same. (and I don't think I've ever allowed anybody to take one of me without make-up since I was 12)

I used to have nightmares in Jr. High that the boy I liked would show up at my house and I wouldn't be wearing make-up and then what would I do?!?!?!  Really, I worried more about this than I care to admit.

Once or twice in high school I decided to just try going to school sans make-up and try the au naturale look, but everyone just asked me all day if I was sick.  Lovely.

Every guy I ever dated had to pass the "Here I am without make-up on, are you sure you want to keep dating me?" test.  Of course they were all kind and told me I looked just fine (they had to say that), but I think secretly they were just praying that I would never remove the make-up from my face in their presence ever again.

So my dear sweet Owen, with two sisters who will wear make-up someday, and a mother who wears it, you get an early taste of the hideous creatures that lie beneath these make-uped faces.

Our beauty is only as deep as our eyeliner can go.

7 comments:

Mel said...

Hilarious.

I'm trying to draw on our roommate memories to remember if I ever saw you without your makeup.

Yup, I remember.

And seriously, it wasn't THAT bad.

Allyson & Jere said...

I had no idea you felt this way. And good news, the older you get, the easier it is to relax those stringent rules. I used to be the same way. Now, meh. Who cares i say. I go to stores in my pj's and no makeup. And my kids certainly see me with no make up, A LOT. Like, all morning long.
And, I'm pretty sure you are not anywhere NEAR as hideous as you think you are. Promise!

azandersens said...

Ha, ha. If my kids see me with makeup I know they're thinking, wow, what's the occasion? You know you can get eyeliner tatooed? My aunt says it is the best thing she ever did.

Lana said...

So funny because Tatum hates it when I don't wear makeup. In fact, all I had on tonight at the swim meet was the mascara I'd had on since yesterday (which wasn't much left)--never got to it before we had to leave. When she came over to me after she swam, and I'd taken off my sunglasses, she said, "Mom, something's missing on your face...?" Like, she couldn't quite place it, but it was also hideously wrong. But usually she says, "Um...no offense, but, aren't you going to wear any makeup today??"

Sadness. I'm not one of those faces that looks good without it either. And my face feels weird and gets sticky (especially my lips) if I don't have it on there. Isn't that odd?

MamaD said...

You're too hard on yourself - I've seen you without make-up and you look fine! I don't wear make-up quite often so it seems like a special occasion when I do take the time and effort to put it on.

DianD said...

Don't know how I missed this post before. I'm thinking maybe you got this phobia from me.... Though I think you girls look just fine without it, I think it is a good thing to wear because it keeps your skin looking younger longer, AND, it tells people you care. I hate when I see people who took care of themselves before marriage, just totally ignore their grooming and have a "Who cares?!?!?" attitude afaterward, and let themselves become total slobs! All I can say is THANK GOODNESS there is make-up now. If there weren't none of you kids would even be here because I'd have never had the chance to marry in the first place! Got to have decent first impressions to move on... :) /can't even imagine how traumatized Owen would be if he saw me sans my "other" face! :)

Dixiechick said...

Mom, I have no idea how you could possibly think I got this from you?!?!?!? :) You'd never know from what you wrote here. :) But seriously, yes, everything you just wrote here is exactly why I have this issue, so thanks. :)