From IVF to Real Live Baby….

It's hard to believe that less than a year ago Trace looked like this: 

Literally.

That is Trace in embryo form and it still blows my mind.

I am so grateful for ARMS (our fertility clinic) for all they did to get us our sweet little baby.

It was a rough ROUGH pregnancy, but I made it through.

Barely.

On Saturday, February 15th, four days after my due date, I was starting to get desperate.  

Really desperate.

I had become completely irrational too.

I cried every day I was overdue and by the end of it I was saying things to Shane like, 

 "What if he never comes out?" and "What if I don't like my baby?"

Craziness.

I started having contractions in the evening, but they were just like ones I'd been having for weeks. But this time they didn't go away…so that was encouraging.

We went to bed around midnight and at 1:30am I woke up to a semi-painful contraction.  Then again at 1:45am and 1:55am.  At that point I tapped Shane and said the words I'd been waiting to say for 9 months and 5 days…."I'm in labor."

"So it's Go Time?!" were the first words out of his mouth.

Yep.

Since I had decided to deliver Trace naturally (no epidural or any other drugs) I wanted to labor at home as long as possible. This was my first time delivering without an epidural and I was a little nervous about it, but when my labor started I felt really calm.

I decided to get in a hot bath and Shane read to me from Jim Gaffigan's book "Dad Is Fat". It was really funny and strangely appropriate because he talks a lot about childbirth and parenting.

Whenever I'd have contractions I'd hit my contraction timer on my phone and Shane would talk me through it. When it was done he'd resume reading.

After about 2 hours my contractions suddenly jumped to being right on top of each other, 2-3 minutes apart, and started to get more painful.  I knew it was time to go.

I had one really painful contraction in the car on the way there, but I really felt like all our hypnobirthing prep had me ready, and I was able to breathe through everything pretty well.

We got to the hospital just after 4am.

When they checked me I was at a 7 and the nurse was surprised.

Right after that I had another pretty painful contraction and threw up a bunch…not fun, but honestly, the pain of throwing up kind of took away from the pain of the contraction so I didn't mind it too much.

They transferred me to labor and delivery and I told my nurse, Mindy, that I was doing this without an epidural. She said she liked it when her patients delivered naturally and that calmed me down a lot to know I had a nurse that was cool with it.

As it turns out, Mindy was AWESOME! I couldn't have asked for a better nurse to help me deliver.

She checked me not long after we got in the room and I was already at an 8. She was really encouraging and told me how great I was doing and that she would never have guessed that this was my first natural birth. She suggested that if they broke my water it would probably speed things along a bit, but the contractions would probably be a little harder. I debated about whether I should do it or not and decided to go ahead and have them do it.

Meanwhile…all this time I'm having contractions and throwing up continually.

As soon as the doctor broke my water I was at a 10. Now that WAS fast!

I just remember thinking, "That's it? I'm already through labor? I thought it would hurt a lot more than that. I was ready for a lot longer and more pain." 

While I was glad that I was through it and ready to push, part of me felt like I had cheated somehow.

When they told me it was time to push I told them I didn't have that "urge" to push that everyone talks about. I didn't feel like pushing at all in fact.  

They had me try anyway.

So with the next contraction I started to push, and I sounded like Monica Seles. 

It was bugging me, but I couldn't not make noise trying to push the baby out.

I was exhausted!

I was pushing and pushing and…nothing.

All my epidural babies came out in one to two pushes, I didn't understand why this baby wouldn't come out but I was starting to panic.

After a lot of pushing and still no baby and thinking I couldn't possibly push one more time I had the thought, "Maybe I can get a C-section right now." I knew it was a crazy thought, but I didn't know how the baby was ever going to come out of me because I was just too tired to push.

I asked, "How many more pushes? I can't keep doing this."

Mindy said, "Well, that depends on the push. It could be one, it could be a lot more."

As soon as she said that that was all I needed to hear. I needed to know it was possible to get him out in one more push. So I asked her to explain to me again what I needed to do. I listened intently and then on the next contraction I gave it everything I had. My eyes were closed and everyone started saying, "Open your eyes! Look! His head is out!!"

I looked and saw my baby half way out and the doctor trying to get his shoulder out. Having him half way out gave me a whole new boost of energy to push him the rest of the way out….and I did.

Dr. Tutt said I did an hours worth of pushing in one push.

Trace came flying out like Superman with both arms out in front of him.

He was born at 6:40am on February 16, 2014.

He weighed 8 lbs. 11 oz. and was 21 inches long.

We fell in love right away.

My two biggest fears didn't come true:

1. He DID come out of me.

2. I DO like him after all. 

Phew.

Trace Richard Dixon

He's perfection.

P.S. If I had it to do over I would definitely deliver naturally again. I loved the whole experience! It was so exciting to be a real part of the process. With epidurals I always felt kind of like a bystander. This was so much better.  And I have to say my recovery has been even better as well. I'm so glad I took the time to prepare for this birth and did it.  It was awesome.