Well, we can check that off my bucket list. :)
Every Wednesday and Saturday we do Swim Skills.
On about our 3rd day of Swim Skills Owen was bawling his brains out. He did NOT want to do it.
He started crying the moment he got in because he thought it was all "too hard". (please keep in mind he was saying this about stuff he has done many times before.)
I wouldn't let him off the hook and I encouraged him to keep going.
He kept crying.
I told him he could not get out of the pool until he finished.
He kept crying.
I stayed firm.
He kept crying.
Then, I hear a shout from across the pool deck from some 20-ish year old kid:
"What the h@(* is your problem?"
I looked around. Where was this voice coming from? And what in the? ...is it aimed at me?
When I got over my confusion and honed in on the origin of the voice we made eye contact and he continued:
"You're pushing him like he's in the effing ('cept he didn't say effing) Olympics and he's 5 years old."
First I thought "Actually he's 6," because that's how my brain works, but then I told him to watch his mouth.
Then I asked him if he was a parent.
He said nothing.
I said, "That's what I thought."
He didn't like that and he walked away pretty angrily.
And it hit me right there: Us American's have the HARDEST time making kids do hard things.
It is hard.
I hate seeing Owen cry and feeling like I'm being mean.
Except the important part is I know I'm not being mean. I know what he can do. I know why I'm wanting him to do it. And THAT is essential to the process.
What is mean is allowing my children to spend all their time watching TV, eating junk food, letting them quit and back out of everything, etc. because they are scared or think it's hard or just don't "feel like" doing something. It never gives them a chance to learn and grow and believe in themselves.
Is swim skills about having him do 20 laps? No.
It's about helping him to discover that he can indeed do "hard" things. Things he didn't think he could do. And when he does it, he will feel so good and start to realize he can do anything.
Want to know what's awesome?
Owen loves swim skills now.
He told me the other day he wishes we had swim skills every day.
He's started to see his own progress, and it feels good.
He keeps checking his muscles, certain they are getting bigger by the minute.
He is a different kid now. Completely different kid. (even in his class at school).
At the end of swim skills we always do sprints. Yesterday I told Owen he had to make it across the pool with 2 breaths or less. And Olivia had to make it across in 1 breath or less.
And we weren't leaving until they did it. (My swim coaches made me swim with no breath at age 6, so I knew this was completely possible).
Owen tried his first one.
3 breaths.
Tried again.
3 breaths...and a decent amount of frustration.
I decided to let him rest a bit while Olivia tried hers.
Olivia made it in NO BREATHS! (this is another post, but needless to say, she was ecstatic!)
Owen got up and tried again.
He made it in 1 breath! And he took 5 seconds off his fastest time. 5 SECONDS!!!
Pure joy. Pride. Excitement. (That's describing him and me).
He kept saying, "I can't believe I could do that!"
I could see his confidence in himself growing before my eyes.
It was like magic.
Do I do swim skills or academic skills with the kids so they can win contests?
No.
I do it so they can win confidence, self esteem and happiness.
And guess what?
We're winning.
We are still becoming Chinese over here.
I love it.
The kids love it.
It's a beautiful thing.
