The Champion

You probably think I'm writing about a person.

I'm not.

I'm writing about our toilet.

It's called The Champion.

About a year ago we replaced the toilets in our house because the ones that were here when we moved in were gross.  Shane said, "If we're going to get new toilets let's get really good ones."

So we went to Home Depot and said, "Give us your best toilet."

That is where we got The Champion (it is literally called that on the box).

It touted being able to flush an entire bucket of golf balls at once!

I'm not sure if it can really do that, I've never tried, but it can get my 9-year old nieces doo-doo down without clogging, which is more than I can say for our other toilets.

But all of this is neither here nor there, my point in talking about The Champion is its height.

It is a "chair height" toilet.

This means a couple of things.

One, my feet can't be flat on the ground when I sit on it.

I hate that.

I feel like a five year old with my tippy-toes touching the ground.

But number two, this is what I hate most of all, I have gotten used to this "chair height" so when I go to sit on any other toilet there is a millisecond of panic that shoots through me thinking that somehow the toilet I was about to sit on disappeared because my backside should have hit it by now.

Then I am rudely jarred out of this panic because I hit the toilet harder than a person normally should.

It's not pleasant.

And I'm thinking that The Champion isn't such a champion after all.

Too much information?

Oh well.