Wait.
No I didn't.
I married Shane.
I had only known him for 5 months and it was a crazy, whirlwind romance, most of which was conversations over the phone since I was in Arizona and he was in Utah.
I was certain of only two things: one, he was hot; and two, he was good.
Deep down to the very center of his core good.
I needed someone good…the hot was just a bonus. :)
I had no idea what the reality of our life together would be, but I hoped it would be special. I hoped he would be kind, I hoped he would be honest, I hoped he would love me and my kids, I hoped for a fairytale.
So the first morning we started our "real life" together and the kids and I were eating breakfast and he took his bowl of cereal upstairs to watch ESPN on the TV in his room I was worried.
Very, very worried. (although I have to admit, I thought it was hot that he was watching ESPN).
Anyway, it was the first sign that things weren't going to be exactly as I hoped.
I reasoned in my mind that he had been a bachelor for the last 34 years and perhaps he didn't know this was not okay.
I took a deep breath and walked upstairs to the room, smiled my best smile and said, "Nope. Not okay."
He wasn't angry at me for this (which is what I was expecting). Instead he smiled, apologized and realized that he was just doing what he had always done.
...And then he joined us.
He has been with us ever since.
Shane spent the entire first year of our marriage rubbing my back every.single.night and assuring me that he would never leave.
Never ever.
He knew I needed to hear that, even though I never told him I needed to hear that.
He still rubs my back every night. You may think I'm exaggerating when I say "every night" but I assure you, it is every night.
He no longer has to assure me that he's here to stay because I know it.
Somewhere, over these past four years, I have realized that our reality is better than a fairytale.
It's real.
I didn't marry my best friend, but he has become my best friend.
He's everything I hoped for…
...and so much more.
11 comments:
This is possibly the most loveliest love letter I have ever read. I'm so happy you found happiness in your initial non-best friend. Your family is beautiful!
I am so glad Shane is as wonderful as he seems! So sweet. Happy Anniversary!
Beatiful post! We're so glad Shane has become your best friend and that he is here to stay, too. We all love him so much! Happy Anniversary to a beautiful couple!
Dixie, you are one of the best people I know. I admire so much about you, I can't list it. You deserve all the happiness you have in your life and then some. I've never even met Shane, but I'm imagining he deserves you too. Happy Anniversary!
I almost started crying reading this (not sure if I was really touched or my awesome fertility drugs were talking), but it is a great story. I'm so glad you found Shane.
What an amazing story! See yu two love birds tonight! Glad we can all celebrate together... :)
Agh, the tears. That was great. Shane is great.
Yay! Happy Anniversary! :)
Wow I can't believe it's been 4 years since I was taking your wedding pictures in San Diego. I am so happy for you, you deserve the best you are such an amazing girl and I am so glad you found Shane you are such a cute couple. And your kids are darling. Miss you.
Love this! It gives me hope and it makes me love and admire you two even more!
that was BEAUTIFUL & tear worthy!!
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