I've always been a sucker for a good love story and I suppose being in the month of February with Valentine's fast approaching and the Reader's Digest showing me the dissection of a perfect love letter, love is on my brain.
The love stories that get me the most are the childhood sweethearts who were always in love or the men and women that wrote letters to each other throughout wars and married the moment they got back because they wanted nothing more than to be with that one person.
So romantic.
So NOT my life.
The way my brain works, I struggled with this for awhile. How can MY love story be any good when it's already been ruined?
I mean, divorced woman with three children isn't really the most romantic thing to begin with.
I really did not intend to get re-married EVER. One, I didn't think anyone would be too interested in taking me on but even more than that I wasn't really interested in taking anyone on.
Enter Shane. (don't worry, this isn't going to be as sappy as you think.)
I'm pretty sure he is the only person that could have changed my mind on this.
Now if this were a movie I would say, "Enter Shane, wave a magic wand, and we lived happily and blissfully ever after."
Nope, so not the case.
I won't pretend for one moment that it's been all roses and bliss for us.
It's been hard. REALLY hard sometimes.
You can't walk into a marriage with someone who has been through a divorce and already has three children, trust issues, and emotional trauma and expect that it won't be hard. There are a lot of adjustments to make and a lot of issues to be dealt with and it takes work.
Now this word "work" always indicated to me in the past that there must not be love there. Love doesn't take work, it's just there. If you love someone you don't have to work at it. Right?
Wrong. And I think if anyone says otherwise they are pretending in their relationship and it will only be a matter of time before they realize it's just not true. Every relationship worth having takes work.
It's what gives the relationship value.
Shane and I have put in a lot of work. Many late nights of talking, talking, talking. Many tears (from both of us). Many frustrations voiced. Many emotions felt. Many misunderstandings and miscommunications having to be resolved.
But the one thing I have felt through it all is that I know Shane loves me.
I feel safe.
As a 20 year old I didn't understand depth in relationships like this. If I were reading this blog as my 20 year old self I'd probably be thinking "That poor lady, she doesn't really have love, she's trying to convince herself that she does." And then my 31 year old self would have to tell my 20 year old self "Someday you'll understand."
Love is more than being twitterpated.
To me, love is having someone I can share all my thoughts and feelings with, even if they seem crazy, and he tells me they aren't crazy at all. Love is having someone to hug me when I'm scared and tells me I'm beautiful when I don't have makeup on. Love is when someone loves your quirks and shortcomings because they are part of who you are.
To me, Love is Shane.
I love him.
And I love our Love Story.
