Tuesday, June 18, 2013

It's True….I Get Fat.

While I know that many people are excited for my pregnancy because it will yield a baby, I also know that a lot of people are also just excited to see me get fat.

You know it's true.

Well, you will not be disappointed. I do get pretty fat when I get pregnant.

I gain at least 50 pounds and my face looks like it might want to pop.

I have no sort of pregnancy "glow", more like pregnancy hideousness.

Just the other day we were watching an old video in which I was 8 months pregnant with Olivia. Owen shouted out, "Why were you so FAT?!" I tried to explain that it was because I was carrying another human inside my body, but he didn't think that was a good enough reason.

I explained to him that I would be getting fat again and asked him if he would still love me. "Yes," he said, "but it will be really hard."

Rude.

Want to know why I get so fat when I'm pregnant?

Because I eat like a maniac.

I want to eat everything in sight in the hopes that it will make my nausea go away.

It's a problem…and it doesn't usually work.

But I keep trying.

As I was shoving Snickers mini's down my throat, one right after the other a few days ago, Shane just watched in fascination. "This is so weird to see you like this," he said. But I'm sure what he was thinking was, "Oh my gosh, what have I gotten myself into?!?!?!"

Oh honey, it's only just begun.


Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Once Upon A Time….Our Story of IVF

So here's a little story.

It goes like this.

When Shane and I were dating he told me, on like our 2nd date, that he would not be able to have kids due to a medical condition.

I told him no biggie. I've got three, that should cover us.

And I convinced myself that we were done!

But every time I'd hear about a friend that was pregnant or see a new little baby my heart ached a bit.  I didn't dwell on it too much because I was happy with the life and children I had, but there was this twinge I couldn't quite ignore.

Shane and I talked about it. A lot. But we just didn't feel right about pursuing any avenues (this was about 2 years ago).

Then, a little over a year ago, I just couldn't stop thinking about it and we started pursuing IVF. We knew that was most likely the only way we would be able to conceive.

I started researching clinics, calling around for prices, and trying to get ready for it.

My sister-in-law, Natalie, told me a bit about the IVF process since she had gone through it, and I just realized there was no way I was emotionally ready to go through it at that time.

Shane and I were driving to the temple one day and I was really nervous to tell him that there was no way I could move forward with the process, but I did.  I just took a deep breath and said, "Something doesn't feel right about it to me. I don't know what or why, but I don't feel right."

He told me he was sad, but that he actually agreed.

But I STILL couldn't stop thinking about having a baby.

Drove me CRAZY!

I was thinking, "Hey…I already prayed about this and accepted that for some reason it's not right, so why do I still keep feeling this?"

Every month I would secretly hope that maybe I'd be pregnant by some miracle.

Never happened.

Then in February of this year I babysat my sister's little girl Mayzie for 5 days. Please note, she is one of the cutest babies ever. I should have known she was about to change the course of my life.

When she left my house it felt empty and I just felt like I was missing somebody.

Shane did too.

It was really weird.

I made some comment on Facebook about wanting another baby to which my Dad responded he was all for. I jokingly asked if he'd like to contribute to an IVF fund and he said, "Give me a number."

I immediately emailed him to see if he was serious.

He was.

When we said we wanted to do IVF we had several other very generous, unsolicited, donors including Shane's parents, his grandmother, and Merril (my ex-husband's father). I know that sounds crazy, but we kind of have an awesome relationship. :)

We could not believe it.  We were blown away. And suddenly all lights were green!

The week after we watched Mayzie I found a seminar at the hospital right by us with an IVF clinic that looked really good.  It was called ARMS…Arizona Reproductive Medicine Specialists.

We got there a little late and by happenstance as everyone else went in to listen to the general information seminar, we stayed back and got to sit at a table with one of the doctors and get a personal one on one consultation for nearly an hour asking him every question we ever wanted. (and with IVF, trust me, there are LOTS of questions).

He scheduled us an appointment for that Monday for an official consultation.

I'm so glad he did. We found out there that the medicine Shane was on for low testosterone, Androgel, actually acts like a birth control for men. His urologist had said it could possibly help with us trying to get pregnant. Our fertility doctor wanted to know his name because he basically said he shouldn't be practicing medicine.  Yikes!

Anyway, he told us Shane's numbers would probably be at zero.

They were.

He said it would take about 1-3 months to get those numbers back.

It took 2, and then we were ready to roll.

I started shots on May 11th.  Lots of them. :)

My egg retrieval was done on May 21st and yielded 20 eggs.

They called me the next day to say that 10 had fertilized.

By the time I got to my embryo transfer only 2 embryos were ready, so they transferred them both. That was on May 26th with day 5 blastocysts. (sorry, just some IVF lingo for ya).

4 more embryos did make it to blastocyst and were/are frozen.

And then I waited, and waited, and WAITED to find out if they took. Talk about a torturous week and two days. Not fun.

I still don't know if one or both took, but I did get the call today that I'm pregnant.

I will find out in 2 weeks if it's one baby or two.

It's been a long crazy journey, this IVF thing. It's definitely not for the faint of heart.

Every woman who has gone through this process deserves a medal.

It is rough.

We broke every convention about "waiting to tell" about the pregnancy because my children were nigh unto bursting they were so excited and I couldn't have them hold it in any longer. We only told them about 2 weeks ago and waiting to tell has nearly killed them.

So there's our story…up to this point.

Of course this is really just the beginning of the story.

We can't wait to see what lies ahead...